User avatarAdvent calendar

Christmas is nearly upon us, and so it’s time we launched the Beans Advent Calendar.

Starting tomorrow you can open a flap every day and find a delicious treat in the shape of an instantly recognisable Pouring Beans Running Joke!

If you’re still not sure (and you should be sure, they’re only a fiver plus P&P), here’s what to expect behind each door:

  1. A chocolate Bean Counter
  2. A chocolate champagne flute just like Chris’s
  3. A chocolate Character Hatch (TM)
  4. A chocolate Loinsford Academy
  5. A chocolate Chris’s Erotic Calendar
  6. A chocolate knee window
  7. A chocolate Kev’s House (under construction)
  8. A chocolate It Is Though Isn’t It
  9. A chocolate joke about Kev not being here
  10. A chocolate lemons 🙁
  11. A chocolate tumps
  12. A chocolate bust of EEFY McJEEFY
  13. A chocolate £10.10
  14. A chocolate tap saga
  15. A chocolate Week Of The Week
  16. A chocolate Saint King jewel
  17. A chocolate Wang Chung
  18. A chocolate book warehouse inferno
  19. A chocolate owl in a chocolate Costa Coffee
  20. A chocolate Mackford Files
  21. A chocolate Chop
  22. A chocolate Smidge Manly
  23. A chocolate park bench with an unusual name on it
  24. A chocolate So What You’re Saying Is
  25. A chocolate Beans Advent Calendar

Christmas just isn’t Christmas without a Beans Advent Calendar. Buy now and get one free! Delivery guaranteed by Easter! Order today!

10 comments to Advent calendar

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Right, so what you’re saying is you are capitalising upon the strong Beans brand at the point where consumers are at their most vulnerable? Excellent news.

    This should be on the Beans Home Shopping Network.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Right, so what you’re saying is you are capitalising upon the strong Beans brand at the point where consumers are at their most vulnerable? Excellent news.

    This should be on the Beans Home Shopping Network.

  • I’ve thought about this for a very long time and I’ve decided that yes, that is what I’m saying.

    Unfortunately sales have been pretty disappointing so far. Did you buy one?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I did buy one but then I sent it back because I thought I was buying a cushion with a fox face on it.

  • Well, can you order it again, please. I’m not happy about you not buying one.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Can I get one? Can I get one with a free cushion with a fox face on it?

  • No. And anyway it’s out of date now and the chocolate has probably got that weird white powdery stuff on it that you get when chocolate gets old.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    That’s a shame. If you hadn’t taken a month off then everything would be sweet like a cauliflower mince pie.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    (I mistyped mince and my phone tried to suggest Minchinhampton as an alternative. What is a Minchinhampton?)

  • I think “mince” is short for “Minchinhampton” when referring to a mince pie. The word “mince” in “minced beef” is different and is of course short for “mincey”, which in turn is short for “mincingtons”.

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