Can You Believe That?

January 18th, 2011

Of course you can!

Today I have been learning about marmots thanks to an uplifting and insightful piece about them in a book I was reading. They have proved to be quite the page-turning, excellent-digging mammal. Let’s hear some facts about the little geezers:

  • Marmots are called marmots but they are also known as groundhogs and wood chucks, which is why when you type their name into google image a bunch of photos of groundhogs appear. Don’t let this confuse you.
  • Their scientific name is Marmota Monax, which would be a good name for a femme fetale in a film noir or a super villain in a Spiderman comic. Take note Marvel!
  • Unfortunately they do not like humans or owls which will severely affect any future relationship I may have with a marmot. Learning this made me sad for several minutes.
  • Their primary food is stuff you would find outside such as grass, dry grass and lightly wetted grass although tell this to the marmot I saw hiding behind a tree in the park pushing a Big Mac into his mouth.
  • Marmots are far more interesting and industrious than most of its animal relatives, in fact I’d even go so far as to say they’re probably more industrious than my relatives. They will store food up for the winter several months before winter. Recent developments in Apple technology have also been attributed to marmots.

There. Now if anyone asks you if you know anything about marmots you can pretend you do. Bless the internet and all its little tiny toes.

Entry Filed under: Beaver,Bedtime stories,Ian,Think about it

4 Comments

  • 1. Kevil  |  January 18th, 2011 at 09:46

    I saw a marmot the other day in town. He was right next to a bin, but chose to piss on the floor. I do hope that he’s not typical of all marmots?

  • 2. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  January 18th, 2011 at 12:40

    It’s not typical of marmots no, and it’s definitely not very polite to such a thing. Most marmots would have taken the opportunity to stand to one side, apologise for their behaviour and then let rip into the nearest waste recepticle, much like you or I would do.

  • 3. Kevil  |  January 19th, 2011 at 08:54

    Oh good. If i see him again, I’ll kick him in the larynx.

  • 4. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  January 19th, 2011 at 22:58

    They have one of those too? Fuckin’ ‘ell, they’re practically human!


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