Hello you fellows!

January 2nd, 2012

“I certainly don’t want to be here and I certainly don’t want you to be here either”

Good morning you big bunch of cantankerous old gits you. How have you been? You well?

So we hit 2012 with the merry disposition that we use to greet all brand new years. We’re all miserable because we have to return to work or whatever, no longer strangers to routine. We’re all skint because we spent every penny we had on presents, then we withdrew some extra for getting drunk, then we relied on the credit card to buy everyone else a drink and also to pay for the taxi home.

I now have approximately three and a half weeks or so before I get paid again and as of this moment too scared to check my bank balance. That is my biggest concern. There are plenty of things that are already paid for however the three birthdays waiting around the corner to hit me across the chops continue to revel in my misfortune. I only hope that I can curb my spending habits to stretch what little I have across the month of January.

Have I made any resolutions? Nah, there’s far too many things I want to change although I will be making a conscious effort to stop using my two favourite words as often, them being ‘kitty’ and ‘face’. As much as I love them I understand the overkill so I’m going to try to substitute them for ‘cat’ and current trend ‘viso/volto’. For example:

“Kitty kitty kitty! Look at the kitty with his lovely little kitty face!”

will be changed to

“There’s a cat. That cat has a refreshing viso/volto I might chase after him with the possibility of petting him on the chops.”

You know, something like that. I also hope to break my son into some sort of employment because he’s almost seven and quite frankly the prospect of paying for half of everything again for the next ten years or so is chaffing my chagrin. He can pull his own weight. The entertainment he provides could earn a tidy dollar; fingers crossed.

There we go. As good a start as any. So, where’s me umbrella?

Entry Filed under: Great,Ian


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