31 Comments

• 1. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 19th, 2007 at 12:55

  So wait a minute, Jude Law came from Michael Caine? Is that why they just did a film together? And why Jude Law played ‘Alfie’ in the remake of the Michael Caine film?

  Mind-boggling.

  Cullum is just as much a sh*t as Doherty. I’d like to see them both on the same bus going over a cliff.

• 2. katie  |  December 19th, 2007 at 13:28

  I’ve done the Saving Doherty thing to death, I’m not gonna start it again, but I do hate Jamie Cullum..

  He needs a good kick in the face, and he’s really short so it wouldn’t take too much effort..

  Give me five minutes in a room with him and he won’t be slapping his piano for years to come..

• 3. Auds  |  December 19th, 2007 at 13:30

  i think the resemblance is quite remarkable, except Cullum looks a tad cleaner.

• 4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 19th, 2007 at 16:51

  We could trap his fingers in the piano and then wee on him!

• 5. Chris  |  December 19th, 2007 at 20:42

  Can I put forward a suggestion to put Michael Parkinson to death? I suggest we strap him down and cheese-grater him to death. From the feet upwards. Ha!

• 6. Auds  |  December 20th, 2007 at 10:25

  I saw a programme on Channel 4 once about cheese grating someone’s penis. It was about bizarre sexual fetishes, and there was a man who loved his penis being rubbed with a cheese grater, and use to pay a woman to do it for him.

• 7. Kevil  |  December 20th, 2007 at 10:35

  ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow ew ow!

• 8. Chris  |  December 20th, 2007 at 11:22

  I don’t think I’ll be reading that comment again. Oh my.

• 9. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 20th, 2007 at 12:28

  I didn’t like it the first time, the second time was awful, and the third? Well, don’t get me started.

  I agree with the Michael Parkinson thing though. I hate his smug little face. I’m glad he’s being coffined.

• 10. Auds  |  December 21st, 2007 at 07:55

  ooh, struck a nerve there, didn’t I boys? I have a little image in my head of the 3 of you standing with scrunched up faces with your hands protecting your crown jewels (rather like a wall in football when there’s a free kick, Ian that won’t mean owt to you)

• 11. Chris  |  December 21st, 2007 at 11:00

  What’s football?

• 12. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 21st, 2007 at 11:55

  I have no idea. Sounds like an illness.

• 13. Auds  |  December 21st, 2007 at 12:54

  Well coming from Leeds its apparent you don’t know what football is.

• 14. Chris  |  December 21st, 2007 at 15:33

  Was that a football joke? Do I need to know about football to understand it?

  I think this is discriminatory against those of us who don’t understand these weird Geordie words like “stotties” and “football”.

• 15. katie  |  December 21st, 2007 at 16:15

  there’s no such thing as stotties, or mini stotties for that matter.. mini stotties = barm cakes.

  which, i suppose, means that stotties are giant barm cakes.

  but considering newcastle is a place where no-one knows what a meat and potato pasty is, it’s no surprise..

• 16. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 21st, 2007 at 16:55

  I thought you threw them out when it was time for medication.

  Didn’t you lock the doors?

• 17. Chris  |  December 22nd, 2007 at 08:03

  Barm cakes? Gah! I know what those are well enough. It’s what the heathens over on the wrong side of the Pennines call breadcakes.

  Praise the Lord that I come from God’s own county and wear a white rose on my tunic at official gatherings.

• 18. Auds  |  December 22nd, 2007 at 10:13

  yes, well when I’m not cowpin me creels and dancin to the daddy, and singing Cushy Butterfield with a bottle of brown ale in my left hand and worming a whippet with my right, I occasionally purchase the odd stottie cake from Greggs the Master Bakers. Food of the Gods.

• 19. Chris  |  December 22nd, 2007 at 11:50

  I’m tempted to sing the “fishy in a dishy” song.

• 20. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 24th, 2007 at 07:07

  Cushy Butterfield? Does she sell upholstery?

• 21. katie  |  December 24th, 2007 at 09:15

  Bread cakes? Cakes of bread?

  No.

  Cakes of barm.

  That will be all.

• 22. Auds  |  December 24th, 2007 at 09:26

  Cushy Butterfield sells yella clay
  and her cousin is a muck man and they call him Tom Gray
  She’s a big lass, she’s a bonny lass, and she likes hor beer,
  and they caal hor Cushy Butterfield, and I wish she was heor.

  I can do the fishy in a dishy if you so desire.

• 23. Chris  |  December 24th, 2007 at 10:29

  When the booooooooowaaat comes iiiin!

• 24. Auds  |  December 24th, 2007 at 11:34

  come here me little Jackie, now aa’ve smerked me baccy, hev a bit of cracky, till the byert comes in,

  dance ti thi daddy, sing ti the mammy, dance ti thi daddy, ti the mammy sing

  thou shelt hev a fishy on a little dishy, thou shelt hev a fishy, when the byert comes in,

  dance (etc etc you know the drill by now)

• 25. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 26th, 2007 at 13:38

  I hate that song. If I were that song I wouldn’t wanna know myself. I’d hope that no-one ever pointed out who I was nor sung me and then I could live in ignorant bliss… FOREVER!

• 26. Chris  |  December 26th, 2007 at 16:55

  That song appears to be encouraging drug use among children, and the child in question is likely to have suffered the effects of passive smoking too. Despicable.

• 27. Auds  |  December 26th, 2007 at 17:06

  We are hardy types, us northern women up north in northern newcastle Geordieland. Passive smoking – ha! no such thing. In fact, when new babies are born up here, its compulsory that they get 5 free tabs a week from the health visitor/social worker. You southern softie types cannot tek it.

• 28. Kevil  |  December 26th, 2007 at 19:16

  Oh my god! I go away for a few days and this place has turned into a mad house! If this madness has to continue i shall be forced to lock the doors and keep non-inpatients out.

• 29. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 27th, 2007 at 08:47

  Erm… does that include me?

• 30. Auds  |  December 28th, 2007 at 12:41

  Why not? You are as mad as everyone else. Why should you get special treatment?

• 31. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 28th, 2007 at 16:27

  Curdle my loins!

  The world’s gone mad!

  And I… embrace it >:)