Sillius Bintus of the Monthus AD 79 – Vivaldi Conosucus

April 28th, 2008

It’s time to look back now at some of the silly bints from past gone days of old. Today’s history lesson comes courtsy of a man who was once named ‘Italy’s most well dressed hick’ Mr Vivaldi Conosucus.

Time has over shadowed his important in one of the great disasters of the then modern and now old times. Many think that when Mount Vesuvius erupted it was because it wanted to. Recent findings have come across an altogether different account. Apparently Mr Conosucus was having a picnic at the very peak of the volcano by himself because his sister, Henrietta, was off having a song written by the Fratellis about her. He was in the middle of a packet of custard creams when a moistened chipmunk popped up from the ground, frightening the young man and consequently knocking a cucumber into the heated vat of doom. And doom it was, for minutes later the volcano burst forth with hot, lava juices, destroying the nearby citiesĀ of Pompeii and Herculaneum and knocking over a lemonade stand.

Vivaldi escaped by the skin of his teeth by selling it to a old man in exchange for a pair of wings. He was last seen trying to invent a dance using only his trousers.

Entry Filed under: Silly Bint of the Month

6 Comments

  • 1. Kevil  |  April 28th, 2008 at 09:17

    But what happened to the old man, with no wings but two sets of teeth skin?

  • 2. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  April 29th, 2008 at 08:09

    He became a successful business and opened several chains of loin cloths. They were forced to close some twenty years after his death due to bad press.

  • 3. Kevil  |  April 29th, 2008 at 09:25

    Damn those skiffleing nazis.

  • 4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  April 29th, 2008 at 18:00

    It makes me wonder exactly what these titans could have achieved if they were only allowed to carry forth their irregular ideas of superbity

  • 5. Chris  |  May 14th, 2008 at 22:00

    WORLD DOMINATION.

  • 6. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 15th, 2008 at 09:10

    Something like that. Maybe a small cafe in Soho with b*tches a-plenty


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