The Magic Of Ears

May 26th, 2009

Hey kids, this world is in dire need of some excitement and joy and I am here to spread it with the help of a couple of friends of mine. I think you’ve HEARD of them. Hu hah! Hu hah!

There is nothing better than stretching out on the sofa, sticking a film on and watching it. But what would you do if you couldn’t hear what was going on? You wouldn’t use subtitles. Subtitles are written by unhappy slackers who like messing with your minds, and what is written is never what is said in the actual film.

You’ve just bought the best of Fleetwood Mac and whip out the old player to listen to that futuristic vinyl sound. But what’s this? Stevie Nicks is singing but there’s only silence. The neighbours downstairs are dancing to ‘Go Your Own Way’ and you can only stare sadly at the tear-stained record┬ácover.

It’s because you don’t have them, you don’t have what everyone needs. What does everyone need? Everyone needs EARS. Everyone loves EARS.

Welcome my friends to the Magic of Ears!

Entry Filed under: Ian,Loins

9 Comments

  • 1. Chris  |  May 27th, 2009 at 11:27

    I’d like to buy three dozen please. My credit card number is 5.

  • 2. Kevil  |  May 27th, 2009 at 17:20

    I’ll offer you 6.

  • 3. Sonny Sildfinger  |  May 27th, 2009 at 22:24

    Three dozen, wow, that is impressive. Am I to take it gentlemen that the two of you are without ears? Such a tragedy. I mean, accidents do happen but people never really consider the depth of the pain and sadness feel.

    Here at EARS HQ we’ve mixed together all the ingredients of a successful idea: hope, joy, perseverance and immigrants.

    How we have toiled.

  • 4. Chris  |  May 29th, 2009 at 11:01

    I have ears already but I want spares and a couple of decorative ones to put on my front door. Is that so much to ask?

  • 5. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  May 31st, 2009 at 21:36

    It’s not really, I’m sure Sonny can some up with a couple of extras, like the ones that don’t match up with any others. How many ghandis do you ‘ave?

  • 6. Chris  |  June 14th, 2009 at 12:27

    Five ghandis, each of which can hold five litres of pence.

  • 7. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  June 14th, 2009 at 20:49

    Oooo, I’m sure he would be tempted. I will ‘ave a few words and see what’s the dealio.

    By the way… can you do this?

  • 8. Chris  |  June 16th, 2009 at 14:51

    Yep. Look, I’m doing it now. Do you like it when I do this part?

  • 9. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  June 16th, 2009 at 19:33

    Erm… I’m not sure I was supposed to see that. I mean, was the twirling necessary?


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