Mr Cockall’s inventions: Beef Rays

July 20th, 2009

Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)

Who are you? Cathy Partslammer

What’s the idea? Beef Rays

What is it? So often we try to enjoy beef or beef-based products as part of our busy modern lifestyle. But we are hampered by the difficulty of obtaining delicious beef. Once it has been extracted from the cows, it must be manhandled and jerrymandered before it arrives on our teeth. With Beef Rays, all that is in the past.

What does it do? The consumer Beef Ray takes up no more space in your kitchen than a washing machine or chest freezer. Plug it in, hook it up to your satellite dish and away you go. At the meat processing plant, beef is packaged and then transmitted via satellite live into your home. You simply select a channel on your Beef Ray receiver – diced, minced, roasting joint or entire cow – and it is beamed to you directly. You are billed an extortionate amount at a later date.

What are you gonna do about it? Nothing! Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)

Entry Filed under: Chris,Mr. Cockall's Loveliness,Shut up

7 Comments

  • 1. Kevil  |  July 20th, 2009 at 14:57

    I’ll take 9.

    Can you get sky 1 on it?

  • 2. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  July 21st, 2009 at 07:40

    I have been waiting for something like this for YEARS! You have to go on Dragons Den right now and pitch this to stoney-faced Bannatyne otherwise the world will explode.

  • 3. Chris  |  July 21st, 2009 at 14:57

    I’ve had a word with Cathy Partslammer and she’s not interested in talking to mythical fire-breathing reptiles when she could be making money.

    She has put 9 in the world’s biggest jiffy bag for you.

  • 4. Ian  |  July 22nd, 2009 at 07:55

    But… but… but…

  • 5. Kevil  |  July 22nd, 2009 at 08:42

    Yay for 9!

  • 6. Chris  |  July 23rd, 2009 at 17:01

    EEFY McJEEFY received his yesterday and has been eating three beefs a day ever since. He says it has changed his life.

  • 7. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  July 25th, 2009 at 09:21

    But… but… but… but…


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