Home Beans Shopping Network

October 5th, 2009

Good Morning and thank you for staying with us after that particularly foisty advert break.

To further thank you for your allegiance we, the Home Beans Shopping Network, would like to present this one in a lifetime offer to you, the viewers, as in you, not me, the T 4500 Deluxe:

This is for today’s modern parent. Not only does it have unstealable nickel chrome wheels but also lush 50 / 50 wool and velour interiors for that smoother ride. Your baby will have no quarms with entering and riding around this babe magnet. Furthermore after thorough tests it has been confirmed that it can achieve speeds up to 20 mph; that’s 7mph faster than the leading competator.

And that’s not all. This wouldn’t be the 21st century without some pointless mechanical alterations. The T 4500 Deluxe can be controlled remotely with a remote control. What good would that do I hear you ask? Coupled with the fact that it also has its very own camera on the top of the bonnet you can do all your parenting right from your sofa such as:

  • Taking baby to the park.
  • Visiting friends and family.
  • Picking up tabs and cider from the shop down the road.

All these and more can be yours for the taking. This is not available in any shops, at least none that you’d think twice about going in. How much would you pay for this marvel? Two hundred? One fifty? You can if you want to as we are willing to accept higher offers BUT NO. You can buy this sweetened honey for the low low price of one hundred fifteen as well as four weeks of milk vouchers. Yes. We take milk. We’ll take your milk. Oh!

Order now to avoid disappointment!

Entry Filed under: Look at this,Quite nice,Uncategorized

11 Comments

  • 1. Chris  |  October 5th, 2009 at 11:45

    Can I fill it with apples to promenade them about the municipality?

  • 2. Kevil  |  October 5th, 2009 at 12:25

    From the comfort of your own home no less!

  • 3. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  October 5th, 2009 at 12:53

    Your… own… home. Yes. What an offer.

    I think you should fill it with apples and pears, then run it down some stairs for some hilarious seaside postcard image (no babies though).

  • 4. Kevil  |  October 5th, 2009 at 13:12

    Yes… or take it to the top of a hill in San Francisco and laet it go, marvelling at the slapstick hillarity as cars and trams smash frivilously into each other to aviod the hurtling carriage.

    What hilarious japes!

  • 5. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  October 5th, 2009 at 13:57

    We could also try that in Manchester. It wouldn’t have the same effect though, what with it being Manchester.

  • 6. Chris  |  October 14th, 2009 at 09:39

    I don’t want to do those things. I’m startingto think this isn’t the wheeled contraption for me. Back to Littlewoods I go.

  • 7. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  October 15th, 2009 at 08:08

    Fuck Littlewoods! Fuck them good! You don’t need that, not at all. Turn your face away from that shit and and…

    I’m sorry, I’ve been doing the gangster rap thing for so long I’ve lost all concept of time and space. Is it Christmas morning 1987?

  • 8. Chris  |  October 15th, 2009 at 12:42

    No. It’s Mackerday and I’m sliding my chude through the door of Littlewoods. Kiss my bad knee, mother.

  • 9. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  October 15th, 2009 at 13:35

    Hop down with the slow down chizzel. When you come looking for tha big purple dip don’t point yo cheese in my for-nay-shon brother.

    Psyche.

  • 10. Chris  |  October 18th, 2009 at 13:28

    The side-slide mother ride has timed out for your sorry hide, bro. My cash is ringing the registers at Littlewoods and there’s not a pence for you to cry over.

    Next stop Rumbelows. Suck my Edam.

  • 11. Ian  |  October 19th, 2009 at 08:13

    Shoot yo nizzle at Andy’s Records sonny, you find da Ourprice and four score Norweb will fuzz yo nicky parsons into next weeka.


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