Newsboost Zoom Flume – Not Enough Beans
December 1st, 2009
Following on from the recent and very successful ‘Zombie Bunny Big Beans’ advertising campaign, a shock survey has revealed that the respected and well-known website Pouring Beans does not have enough beans.
Three years or so in and with not much of a profitable following but yet a cult following in certain circles, Pouring Beans crashed onto the world wide web with a cheeky smile and an abusive attitude. The attitude was kerbed though and once all the misogynstic comments and rude pencil drawings had been removed it was considered a success. Not so much a success in the conventional sense of the word, more of a success within three friends who slapped each other on the back knowing that they had left a mark somewhere in this crazy world.
This survey though has seen PB morale drop to an all time low: just under the seven mark. “Being here and knowing that, I know that if I wasn’t here and I was somewhere else,” dribbled out Pouring Beans stalwart Ian “Mac Mac Mac Mac” McIver, “I’d still know that and it would make me cry.” Asked how the crew was going to deal with the crisis Mr McIver merely made an increasingly loud noise, mentioned something about being “hairy on the go” and fled the scene clutching his “welcomes”.
How they react to this is anyone’s guess. My guess is that they will put more beans on it. FACT!
Entry Filed under: Bedtime stories,Friut Fascists,Gravy,Think about it
17 Comments
1. Kevil | December 1st, 2009 at 14:03
Damn you McIver…. we told you not to let the press in! I bet you unsealed the Charatcher Hatch(TM) as well…
2. The Saint King | December 1st, 2009 at 14:11
I think I can provide the necessary necessities about that particular statement Mr Hill 🙂
EVERYBODY BOW DOWN TO THE SAINT KING!
3. Kevil | December 1st, 2009 at 14:33
Fuck.
4. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | December 1st, 2009 at 13:56
Why do I get the blame for everything?
5. Chris | December 1st, 2009 at 17:28
Oh, piss. The tabloids will be all over this. Our only hope is that nobody actually cares and they continue to ignore us, but if you ask me it’s an outside chance.
6. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | December 1st, 2009 at 19:43
Everyone cares! Look at the reaction to the last Papples album! We were selling, literally, records!
7. Chris | December 2nd, 2009 at 12:11
Literally!!!
8. Kevil | December 2nd, 2009 at 14:54
I think “selling” might be a bit over the top there.
9. Kevil | December 2nd, 2009 at 14:54
Chris, do you still have any sand and cement left from last time we bricked up the character hatch?
10. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | December 2nd, 2009 at 23:08
Sold.
Gave away.
It’s all the same tray of candy sherberts isn’t it?
11. Chris | December 3rd, 2009 at 19:13
I just called a shipyard that specialises in submarines. They’re going to send a few lads over to replace the character hatch with an airtight hatch. It’s going to have one of those big wheel things on it that you turn to make it shut really tightly, but only on our side.
A snip at just £5000!
12. Kevil | December 4th, 2009 at 13:10
Sounds good. We still have the problem that Ian’s let out the bloody Saint King again…
13. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | December 4th, 2009 at 15:49
You can’t afford a new car and the money to seal up the character hatch Marshall. You’ll have to make a choice – travelling at ease or the dispensing of an irritating idiot?
Not me for once. Net gain.
14. Chris | December 4th, 2009 at 19:27
I have bought new wheels, which are all attached to different corners of the same car. No new hatch now. Net loss.
15. The Saint King | December 6th, 2009 at 23:16
Does that mean I get my own page? My own posts? My own share of the profits?
I can sell literally records.
16. Kevil | December 6th, 2009 at 23:56
No. Piss off.
17. Ian | December 7th, 2009 at 21:28
None of you ever learn.
Imagine Kev – you could take the Saint King, king of all the saints, as some sort of IT understudy so it’d be like theatre but with wires and nubbins and whatever else it is you do.
SERVERS. That’s it.