The Ballad Of Jimmy Titan

April 15th, 2010

Here be a rough draft of a song that is speechmarks in the mix close speechmarks. It’s based on a well-loved character from my past whose very name can make your heart sing.

He stood three storeys high
With a wizened look in his eye
All the while that cheeky smile
At everyone passing by
He’s one for every occasion
Morning, noon and night
Have you heard his name?
Of course I think you might.

Chorus

Colossal and robust, a character of trust
Jimmy Titan, Jimmy Titan
No-one heartier than Jimmy Titan

Be wary of his powers deceptive as they are
They pack the molten punch of a massive exploding star
His hairs not near but he still looks a treat
And you’ll find him in the bar
He’s one for every occasion
Birthdays, weddings, weekends
Have you heard his name?
Of course you have dear friends

Chorus x 2

If you need manly chats, he’s for a spin
If you need a manly hug he’ll squeeze you thin
If you need entertainment for your sister’s new boyfriend’s best friend’s pool party because the party CD got scratched and your I-pod is on the blink and someone is desperately searching for their Simply Red LPs… why not?

Chorus x 2

(I. McIver / Papples Music Empire)

Entry Filed under: Bedtime stories,God damn poetry

7 Comments

  • 1. Chris  |  April 25th, 2010 at 07:22

    It’s a very rough draft isn’t it? As 50% of the Papples I veto this musical travesty. It won’t sell more than a million, and therefore I consider it WORTHLESS.

  • 2. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  April 25th, 2010 at 20:09

    And yes it would take a very quick speaker to fit it into the Papples brand tuning but it could be done. We’d just need to get the Yorkshire Rapper on board. He’s good with things like that.

  • 3. Chris  |  April 26th, 2010 at 14:07

    You don’t seem to be listening.

    I have VETOED this mess. It shall not come to pass.

  • 4. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  April 29th, 2010 at 07:33

    So if I can get the Yorkshire Rapper we’ll come down to yours. I think it won’t take longer than a day to set the track down. It isn’t the most important one on the album but I think it will be one that will make people stand up and listen before sitting down and carrying on with the listening.

  • 5. Chris  |  April 29th, 2010 at 23:13

    Is there something wrong with you? We’re not doing it. I will not take part in any way. I refuse to let you besmirch the good name of the Papples by releasing this song under our glorious name.

  • 6. The Yorkshire Rapper  |  April 30th, 2010 at 07:18

    Yeah yeah man, I hears ya. Me and the hairy guy gonna come down and lay down this phat beat.

    Yous will loves it.

  • 7. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  May 1st, 2010 at 20:04

    Erm… has anyone else allowed Reuben to use the computer? If not then some fraudulent person is pretending to be him and I will use the loudest, bleepiest computers to find them.

    P.S. We’ll come round your house Marshall to record the track possibly before the Summer Holidays. Take a couple of days off. I’ll bring some beats and the Yorkshire Rapper will bring some rhymes.


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