User avatar Tea break

All this high-quality blogging is thirsty work. I’m going to put the kettle on.

Would anyone like a drink?

User avatar Election Update 2017

Generally speaking the nation’s major news outlets are a few steps behind the Beans, so you may not yet have heard that a surprising general election has been called. What does this mean for you? Nobody knows. But it’s OK, because I’m here to answer all the big questions you’ll be worrying about.

What is […]

User avatar Beans Flashback

There have been no posts to the Beans since the start of April, and it’s the 20th now. What does that tell us? Well, clearly, it indicates that there is nothing of any interest happening this month.

Instead, let us take this opportunity to look back at early 2007 and ask ourselves what was happening […]

User avatar A fine view

We all know how wonderful it is to lay one’s eyes on a beautiful prospect. It can be a true balm for the soul. (Those of us with five or more pairs of eyes presumably get even more from the experience.)

As an avid looker at lovely things of every description, you can imagine my […]

User avatar This is not breakfast

Most days I have breakfast at home before I go to work. I know how to do breakfast. Make some coffee, put some bread in the toaster. Some days there’s something more interesting like crumpets. Pour a glass of orange juice if there’s time. Any idiot can do breakfast.

Not, it turns out, the people […]

User avatar The wisdom of Des’ree

Recently I was in the car and found myself listening to Life by Des’ree. This undoubtedly counts as one of the low points in an otherwise happy life.

This is a song of many profound and moving lyrics. Take this heartfelt couplet from the first verse, for example:

I’m afraid of the dark, Especially when […]

User avatar Four Word Reviews: Dead Letters

Last time we met here in the Album Review Auditorium, I had just suffered the ordeal of To The Extreme by Vanilla Ice. This time I have been listening to Dead Letters, the 2003 album by the Finnish sort-of rock band The Rasmus, and I’m a bit concerned that this review is not going to […]

User avatar 2017 State of the Beans Address

Good afternoon. Delegates, please, sit down. Thank you.

My name is Professor Sir Elbert Louche, and it is a great honour to have been invited back to the Beans to deliver this third annual State of the Beans Address.

I and my colleagues at the University of the Internet have analysed the Beans carefully throughout […]