User avatar Frankenstein’s sideboard

If you read the papers you’ll already know that Kevindo Menendez – now properly styled Lord Chang of Micklefield – recently sold his former home, a palatial residence that he had spent most of his life enlarging and expanding to a size copiously documented here in the past.

A property of that magnitude, crossing numerous […]

User avatar Appeasing the magical computers

W3gW73i

Right, lets just get all the “Oh look Kev’s back” crap out of the way upfront… I haven’t been here. I know.

I’ve got a 3 month old boy, a tired (lunatic) wife and myself to look after. As I’m sure Ian can testify, this is hard work. Nobody gets enough sleep, everyone is cranky […]

User avatar Christening: Order of Service

The Christening of Changlet Christopher Ian Paul McIver Hill led by the Archbishop of York, Dr John Sentamu Order of Service

York Minster, Deangate, York, YO8 7HH – Monday 18 April 2016

Hymn: O Lord You Are Definitely Real And We Believe In You

The Archbishop […]

User avatar Security

These are dangerous times. Terrorism is literally everywhere. Just yesterday I had to take the bins out when the bin bags were only half full because they had terrorists hiding in them. Last Thursday, I went back to a tub of half-eaten strawberry yogurt in the fridge and found that terrorists had eaten the rest […]

User avatar The Majestic Bird Goose

Some say that the name Bird Goose is one descriptive word too many. Some may be right, but the majestic Bird Goose cares not for those people. In fact he poops in their garden and then struts away (seen above).

Bird Goose is an excellent strutter and can often be found swaggering, striding or […]

User avatar Unknown Pleasures (again)

Carrying on my trend for utilising other people’s work in my own posts (Chris, clearly you’re next), as promised here is the second song in a collection which is steadily showing improvement in both tone, texture and content. The rhymes, though simple, display a mature approach to song-writing. The universal themes everyone can identify with. […]

User avatar Unknown Pleasures

It seems as though most of my posts this month have merely been transcribed moments of wonder from other people, and who am I to change the habit of a lifetime? Besides I’m too busy writing new songs for the Papples, or scratching myself using pointy kitchen utensils, to actually come up with anything myself. […]

User avatar Beans 2015 Customer Satisfaction Survey

Here at The Beans, the happiness of our readers and contributors is paramount to us. In fact, if you came to our prestigious penthouse offices, you’d see that we have a chart on our wall of all the things that are important to us. “The Happiness Of Our Readers And Contributors” is in big letters […]