User avatar This is not breakfast

Most days I have breakfast at home before I go to work. I know how to do breakfast. Make some coffee, put some bread in the toaster. Some days there’s something more interesting like crumpets. Pour a glass of orange juice if there’s time. Any idiot can do breakfast.

Not, it turns out, the people […]

User avatar Four Word Reviews: To The Extreme

Everybody knows “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice. It’s a cheesy old 90s rap song with stupid lyrics. While we can all laugh at it and perhaps in some contexts even enjoy it, Vanilla Ice himself and his music were hated by an awful lot of people at the time. Genuine rap fans hated him […]

User avatar It’s Time: Four Word Reviews

Shoddy CDs seem to keep landing on my doormat, so it falls to me to write some more four word reviews. This time, it’s the album “It’s Time…” by Clock, widely regarded as an album nobody remembers from 1995.

If you read the sleeve notes you’ll see that Clock are “ODC MC” and “Tinka”. It […]

User avatar Knee windows

I’m definitely getting old. I mean, we all know this, it’s not news to any of us. But sometimes I still get surprised by my reaction to things.

The other day I was on a London Tubular Train. These are clever trains that have the corners sliced off so that they can run in the […]

User avatar WHO DID THIS…

Oh yeah… Me.

I opened the Character Hatch, I wanted to find the bell tower. How much harm could it do? It’ll be fine. Right?

User avatar What’s missing?

Due to the massive popularity of “guess who’s back?” I’m back again with a new game… What’s missing?


This time I have a riddle for you:

My first is in the, but not in book

My second’s in the, but not in book

My third is in the, but not in book.

My fourth […]

User avatar The sting

I was going to make a content-free post that would be blatantly and cynically intended just to get me up to four posts for December and win me a coveted bean. But then something happened that was worthy of making a whole post, so actually this will have something in it.

I’ve decided to buy […]

User avatar The Return of Mr Smith!

Yes that’s right… you heard it here first… Mr Smith is back!

After a brief hiatus of only 7 years, Mr Smith returns in his latest tale of woe, murder and partying, “Mr Smith and the Cactus”.

Read it HERE now.