User avatarChristening: Order of Service

The Christening of
Changlet Christopher Ian Paul McIver Hill
led by the Archbishop of York, Dr John Sentamu

Order of Service

York Minster, Deangate, York, YO8 7HH – Monday 18 April 2016

Cross and Dove

Hymn: O Lord You Are Definitely Real And We Believe In You

The Archbishop of York to read from the Book of Revelations, chapter 12 verse 18, “The Unwavering Faith of the Hills”

Hymn: Let This Child Be Raised Unto God

oOo

Bible reading by the father of the child, Mr Chang, from the Book of Lego, chapter 8 verse 66, “Silence Thee Atheist Scum, for Jesus is my Wingman”

Deployment of Changlet into the font for the Solemn Holy Dunking

Hymn: Take Thee This Freshly Moistened Child And Send Him To Sunday School

Sermon by the Archbishop of York: the tribulations of St. Menendez The Faithful in the Replacement of the Taps

oOo

Prayer, led by Changlet himself, who has been provided with a text-to-speech system and a loudspeaker.
Changlet: We Need Three
Congregation: We Are Three
All: Amen

Hymn: I Just Got My Scout Badge For Praying Lots

Organ recital of Handel’s “Heretic Waltz” as congregation departs

oOo

Sausage rolls and Vimto will be served in the Pig and Whistle function room from 15:00.

16 comments to Christening: Order of Service

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Shit me through a keyhole, I forgot this was on today! Was it a nice ceremony?

  • I don’t know, I was turned away at the door because apparently my t-shirt was not suitably formal.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I heard a rumour that if you wore one of then super expensive Crab t-shirts you didn’t have to pay the entry fee.

  • I wasn’t wearing one of those. Mine was an NWA t-shirt with the N-word written across the back in Gothic letters.

    I was also wearing my swimming shorts.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    That is your favourite set of clothes. I remember when you turned up for Kev’s wedding in that. Oh, did it shock but what a statement!

    I was gonna wear three pairs of socks and a girdle.

  • To be fair I paired it with a lurid South Park tie for Kev’s wedding, thus turning it into stylish formal evening wear.

  • How many people could pull that off? I’ve been known to pull off a duck-billed platypus but certainly not an NWA shirt / swimming shorts / South Park tie combo.

  • Four. Four people could pull that off. I am one of them. David Furnish is another, but he chooses not to. The other two people I am not at liberty to disclose.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    … should it not have been called “The Chang-ening” rather than a christening?

    Granted “The Chang-ening” sounds more like a horror film than the celebration of a child but it fits better in my view.

  • No. I don’t like that.

    Hey, do you remember when people other than the two of us used to come here and write stuff?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Did they? Do you mean when our website was the number one zorse resource site?

  • Yeah. Those were the days. Maybe we should make more zorse posts to bring back the good old days.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    WHO’S ‘IM?

  • I NEVER SEEN ‘IM.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    ‘ees got the look of the six wide about ‘im!

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