User avatarCurrent Investigations

Have you seen this man?

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The relevant authorities are currently looking for the suspect due to his possible involvement in the recent fires at the Jerry Loinsford Memorial Publishing house.

Referred to only as Kevindo Menendez to both friends and work colleagues, the suspect has on occasion, which is putting it lightly, been known to undertake various lengthy and overwhelming construction work to his current accommodation.

Even though his poodle grooming salon failed and ultimately closed several years ago, Mr Menendez, pictured here enjoying the benefits of traffic light jelly, has had recent success with his line of baked beans.

The suspect has not had any prior involvement in any incidents of arson, however several comments regarding the owner of the publishing house and his award-winning books and personality have placed him directly at the front of the authorities’ enquiries.

If you know the whereabouts of this reprobate, please contact someone wearing shoes.

12 comments to Current Investigations

  • I’ve seen this guy before. I know his face. I don’t know about this arson business but I’m pretty sure he’s hiding stolen goods. It’s a book, about this big, called The Magic Star. It went missing quite a long time ago. If you find him tell him I want the book off him.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I think I may have seen this individual before. Wasn’t he the one who made away with all those copies the award-winning film ‘Bula Quo’ on DVD? If he’s got that book and all those DVDs then perhaps he’s gone into hibernation.

  • Kevil

    Doesn’t look or sound like anyone I know.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Are you sure. Are you really REALLY sure? Look at his face. It’s not a common face. It’s the viso/volto of a man with curiously dishonest fascinations.

  • Wait, you’re right! I do know him. He’s the Status Quo super-fan who watches their movie set in Fiji at least once a week.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I do wish he would shut up about it. It’s all he ever talks about.

  • He loves it. I wonder if he wants any more copies of it, maybe for his next birthday?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I don’t think he can wait that long. I think he may require another shipment very shortly.

  • OK, I’ve received some information about this man, but I can’t find anyone wearing shoes. What do I do?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    You can write to the Shoe Bureau, who will assign you a shoe representative until you can locate your own shoe-wearing candidate.

  • Thanks. I only have a second class stamp so this may take a while.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    The Shoe Bureau are more than happy to offer a very limited and frustrating service if you’ve got a second class stamp burning a hole in your wallet.

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