User avatarDear Beans… Indelible Inconclusive Inclusions

Dear Beans,

No matter how hard I try, no matter what ideas I come up with, all of them are disparate in nature. There is no logical flow or group by which they can populate. Each and every single one of them is a Robinson Crusoe living on their own island away from the others, occasionally waving at them with a disinterested look in their eyes.

Could it be that these formulations in my brain that splurge out onto the website are just like me? Are they all selfish and only care about themselves? Shouldn’t these posts be more empathic?

Perhaps it is more to do with being popular. None of my posts are popular, and so when a Chris post comes floatingĀ past the island on a makeshift party boat, with Jacuzzis and champagne flowing from illuminated elephant nostrils balanced on a solid gold davenport, they cannot help but look on with fear and loathing (and a little Las Vegas).

What can I do to emulate this success? How can I get in with the “cool kids”? Please help me.

Yours sincerely

Ian

 

12 comments to Dear Beans… Indelible Inconclusive Inclusions

  • I’m not sure I can answer this question. You can’t get in with the cool kids, you see. I knocked on the door of their secret den and they told me you’re not allowed in. Sorry about that.

    If it’s any consolation, they don’t let me in either. The only reason my posts are so cool is that I look through the keyhole of their den and steal their ideas.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I think what our esteemed letter writer seems to have failed to grasp is that by writing into da Beans with a letter he has joined the hallowed halls of the other writers of ‘Dear Beans’ and thus become part of a group of posts.

    Not a great group of posts but a group nonetheless.

  • Yes. Our esteemed letter writer is also one of only three people in the world be a member of da Beans, which puts him in a very exclusive club indeed.

    Buck up, old chap. Things are looking up. That’s what I’d say to him.

  • Possibly one of the best very exclusive clubs. I mean how many other of these so called “exclusive clubs” have a website containing a large country estate, a premier online resource for Zorse owners AND, (AND!) an extensive web comic archive where roughly 5% of the comics make sense?

    I’d tell our correspondent friend to get a grip. (And write better posts).

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Both your points are valid. So what you’re saying is it doesn’t matter if his posts don’t connect or aren’t integrated into a series because it’s the thought that counts.

  • I think what Kev is saying is that you need to post more about Zorses because we’re no longer the worlds number one discussion forum for Zorsery.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    If you were found guilty of zorsery in the 14th century they hung you like a coconut until your eyes smelt of jam.

    I expect zorses have moved on so much since we last touched on the subject.

  • This is what I’m saying. We’re behind the zorse times.

    Maybe we need to start a spin-off site and call it the Zorse Times. We’d be right on the fashions then.

  • Do zorses have fashions? Last time we wrote anything about them, they shunned such fripperies instead preferring simpler pastimes such as crochet.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Wait. What about ‘Straight From the Zorse’s Mouth’?

    Zorse chat.

  • How about we do traditional and ancient stories, and call it Zorse Mythology?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    All of these ideas are good. Let’s throw a hashtag in there and stick it out on the web

    (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!)

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