User avatarDear Beans… Sandi Shandy Shocking Shenanigans

Dear Beans,

It has been several years now, what feels like decades, since I first encountered the love of my life. I met him quite by accident on a train and he captivated me from the beginning. At first I could not believe that I could fall for such a shambolic, messy, misanthropic miser yet how that changed. Through each encounter the more and more I fell until he was all I could think about.

We met up as often as possible. There was a fair amount of ramping, of course, however it was more than that. The ramping led to so much more, more than can be recounted on a half-baked blogging website such as this.

It ended as most things do, with one of us in tears and the other of stout and firm approach. I just wish he hadn’t wept into my purple tweed suit and blown his nose on my antique blanket. I had to end it because, well, when you’re a well-respected Danish lesbian you cannot be seen frolicking with a member of the opposite sex.

Recently I have been reminiscing about the good times and thoughts of him just keep coming back. Do you have any advice? Any coping mechanisms?

Yours uncannily

Sandi Toksvig

8 comments to Dear Beans… Sandi Shandy Shocking Shenanigans

  • Dear Sandi,

    Why did Ian give you his password to log on to the Beans?

    Yours with security concerns uppermost in his mind,

    Chris

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Dear Chris

    Sandi (not Saudi, silly phone) does not know what my password is. I typed up a letter on her behalf. It was scrawled on Danish lesbian paper; good quality stuff.

    Kind regards

    Ian

  • Dear Ian,

    Thank you for clarifying that. If you’re in touch with Sandi can you ask her not to make any more episodes of Fifteen to One? The world doesn’t need Fifteen to One.

    Firm handshakes,

    Chris

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Dear Chris,

    Are you sure? As a child I watched countless episodes with William G. Stewart and loved the rubbish set and bewildering questions I, as both youngster and adult, would never have a chance in getting right.

    Big grins, Ian

  • Dear Ian,

    Please stop grinning at me like that. It’s unnerving.

    Yours unnervedly,

    Chris

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Dear Chris,

    This is my normal face now. I can’t stop even if I wanted to. Gary Wilmot is seeking me out for the new play that he’s in.

    Yours in big of face, Ian

  • Dear Ian,

    Who’s Gary Wilmot? I’ve never heard of him.

    Yours in cool of chain,

    Chris

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Dear Chris

    How much mot can a Wilmot mot if Gary Wilmot can mot not?

    Yours confusingly, Ian

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