User avatarHappy Death Day, Mr R. Brek!

It was exactly four years ago that a very good friend of mine died.

Not a lot happened on 24 June 2010, at least for the rest of the world. It was a Thursday. Apparently in some minor tennis tournament some guy beat some other guy in a really long match. Does anyone remember it though? Of course not. It is confined to the annals of history.

What unraveled for me though was the beginning of something special. In life Mr R Brek was, in all honesty, disgusting. A colleague at work had passed me him because they didn’t want him anymore and thought I would prefer his company. So in order to not waste him and his good name I knocked up a batch. It tasted akin to the material they line hamster cages with. I’ve sampled better food off the bathroom floor. One bowl was enough to put me off for the rest of my life.

Sometimes good things come out of bad things though. In life he could bring no joy but shortly afterwards we became great friends. He sat on my desk, smiling away without a care in the world, ready to lift my spirits whenever times were hardest. If there was a joke to be made he was the first to make it. It seemed appropriate to place a ‘Parental Advisory Explicit Content’ sticker on his face given how risque and daring he could be at times. When I changed jobs I brought him home to carry on the good vibes, besides not everyone appreciated his particular brand of humour. It made sense to put his feet up and enjoy life a little.

When I first gave him the idea of a ‘Newsboost’ Twitter feed he scoffed and threw apples at my flat cap, however eventually he came around to my way of thinking. It was at his instance, and his enthusiasm, that I gave him the ‘entertainment’ side wherein he flourished in a manner I would not have imagined four years ago.

So here we are, in 2014, still knocking around like a couple of twenty year olds. I wish him all the best on this day of days and trust that you will all raise a glass in his honour.

Ladies and Gentlemen, to the memory of Mr R. Brek who gave more in death than he ever did in life.

10 comments to Happy Death Day, Mr R. Brek!

  • I would like some more details from the time that you sampled food from a bathroom floor, and why that was considered a suitable way to serve a meal.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    One time I thought I would try to eat crisps in a way that nobody had ever tried before. The bathroom floor seemed like a nice idea. It’s underrated if you ask me

  • I think your underrated ideas are massively overrated.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    You say that but you don’t really mean it. For every lukewarm idea you smelt from your mine brain I rub at least five in the world’s face, and it’s better for the sake of it.

  • Hey. My mine brain is mine and not yours. Keep your rubbing fingers out of it.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    My rubbing fingers can rub away if they wish to do so. It’s how they keep their sticky sheen.

  • Unless your rubbing fingers are going to buff me to a sheen they will get a very frosty welcome.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    So what you’re saying is that it totally lifts your skirt?

  • Your rubbing fingers are subject to an injunction where my skirt is concerned and may not come within half a mile of it.

  • It’s when you bring the law into it that makes you massive buzzkill. You’re almost a tang hoover.

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