User avatarModern technology

What is the one area of your life that modern technology has yet to change? Which of your household appliances has so far failed to make its way to the twenty first century?

We all know what the answer is, and thankfully Pouring Beans Technology Division is here with the solution. Yes – what you need is a ToiletPhone™.

Lavatory with instrument of communication

  • For the times you run out of toilet roll
  • For the times the lock on the bathroom door gets stuck
  • For the times you get lonely while doing a really long wee
  • For the times you want to call your significant other with a live update on your child’s potty training progress
  • For the times you need to call your toilet’s technical support line

It’s the new appliance every home needs, and Pouring Beans will deliver and install it for just £996.95.

Call today!

20 comments to Modern technology

  • Madge

    I stayed in a hotel in Melbourne which had a phone by the shower AND the toilet. For those busy busy executives making every minute of their working day count. Or for ordering pizza.

  • That was clearly an early prototype made by Pouring Beans Technology Division.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I’m more concerned by the excessively large buttons directly above the toilet. Those can’t be for flushing, surely!

  • No, you’re right, they aren’t. Those buttons are “play” and “pause”.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Pause my ass? It’s never happened and Lord knows I’ve tried!

  • I expect your ass isn’t compatible with it. I do not intend to try finding out what your ass IS compatible with.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    You know, your attitude towards my ass is always less than satisfactory.

    I’m thinking of burning that into a piece of work for you to hang in your kitchen.

  • You’re right. I’m sorry. Please tell your ass how sorry I am.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Is that so I don’t do the wood burning thing?

  • Elena....

    Unfortunately there is no space left on our kitchen walls to hang anything at all. What a shame.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I’m sure there are much more deserving walls in your new abode that would love a chunk of wood with my heartfelt words on 🙂

  • No. There aren’t.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I’m convinced that there is because I’ve seen the floor plans; plenty o’ toilets and plenty o’ walls!

  • The walls are full of toilets. There’s no room for anything else.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    What about the space directly above the toilets? Are there more toilets there too?

  • Yes, we operate a double decker dumper system.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    And what’s above them? How high are your ceilings? Does the person at the bottom get erm cross swiped by the person dumping at the top?

  • Above the double decker dumpers is a complex acoustic dumper damper system to stop the noise bothering the neighbours.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    … Does this just happen in Bromley or is this common practice these days?

  • It’s just our flat. We’re special.

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