User avatarMosaic: Four Word Reviews

Kev and Sarah’s considered and insightful reviews of the Papples’ latest album has inspired me to do something similar with one of the presents Ian gave me for Christmas – that being the 1986 album “Mosaic” by Wang Chung.

I was particularly excited when I opened the cellophane to discover that this seems to be an original pressing which has been waiting patiently in its box since 1986, and the booklet inside is starting to show its 30 years a bit. The music inside is as fresh as ever, though. The title comes, of course, from the lyrics of the final track, in which Wang Chung tell us that the world is a mosaic upon a golden floor.

Wang Chung Mosaic

Kev and Sarah had two words each but, since there’s only one of me being subjected to this album, I have decided to award myself all four words.

Track Title Word 1 Word 2 Word 3 Word 4
1 Everybody Have Fun Tonight Nobody’s having fun tonight
2 Hypnotize Me Hypnosis as tepid metaphor
3 The Flat Horizon Bland with misplaced gospel
4 Betrayal Sadness saturated synthesizer ballad
5 Let’s Go I’d rather not go
6 Eyes of the Girl Awfulness of the song
7 A Fool and His Money Drum fill caused screams
8 The World In Which We Live Too long too preachy

My favourite part is during “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” where, sometimes, instead of singing “everybody have fun tonight” they sing “everybody Wang Chung tonight”. It shows how they’re having lots of fun tonight making their music, and sets an excellent example for their fans.

In summary, then: Wank Chunk.

16 comments to Mosaic: Four Word Reviews

  • Elena....

    Ok, I did read this and it made me laugh. I didn’t have fun listening to “Everybody have Fun Tonight”. I think it made my night less fun.

  • If it didn’t make you have fun tonight, did it at least make you Wang Chung tonight?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    What I like most about this review is that it never would have happened without me.

    Five stars.

  • I’m glad my no-star review was, itself, worth five stars. That’s some serious meta-praise. I award your five-star review five stars.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I would also like, if you don’t mind, to submit my top five reasons for absolutely hating this CD.

  • I don’t mind at all. Fire away. FIVE away. Ahhh, I make myself laugh.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    1. The picture on the front of the CD
    2. The fact that the picture on the front of the CD has been distorted in a really shit way.
    3. There are only eight songs on the album.
    4. They all have awful names.
    5. I’ve only heard 1/8 of this album and that was enough for me.

  • The picture on the front of the CD is a big problem. You’re right to list it twice. What exactly is that face he’s pulling? It’s like he’s saying, yeah we made a shit album, what are you going to do about it?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    That’s EXACTLY what he’s saying.

    He knows (whatever his name is) he knows just how awful those eight songs are and is not apologising for any of them.

  • He needs to be taught a harsh lesson. It’s high time someone annexed him.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    What do you think; down some stairs or the classic pushed out the plane?

  • Oh, out of the plane. No question. Wang Chung’s lesson cannot be hard enough.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I scrolled back to the top to see if the picture had improved. It hadn’t.

    What a Canesten Combi of an album.

  • I just got the CD back off the shelf and measured it. It’s totally sixwide. I should have expected as much.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I think, guffaw guffaw, we both know Christopher that, guffaw guffaw, we knew that even before you picked up the measuring device.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Also I heard a rumour that Kev listened to the album and loved it.

    The swine.

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