User avatarOxford English Dictionary Updates

The English language is quite simply amazing. It fluctuates and changes like the tides of the ocean, or how I feel towards the career of the actor Tom Hardy.

The other day I mentioned to a colleague that they had my name correct and that they should not wear it out and they looked at me as though I had spat in their mum’s face and stolen her purse. It is quite clear to everyone that I do not have my finger on the fashions. In fact none of protruding limbs are anywhere near the fashions.

It is so very difficult to keep on top of things. As a (questionable) adult, I have given up on trying to keep up with trends. Everything has fallen by the wayside: clothing and fashion, music, films and television, literature etc. I am an analog man in a digital age.

Luckily I have three nieces under the age of ten who like to keep me in the loop of THINGS and other matters. Only yesterday they were telling me of the following updates to the Oxford English Dictionary:

Monster Munch – now Gobble Monsters – a baked corn snack in the shape of feet and coming in several different flavours.

Odd Socks – now Muddle Socks – when you can’t find two of the same pair and end up matching one with another that is completely dissimilar.

“Tee Lau” – the origin and explanation of this phrase is still unknown and will possibly remain that way because none of them will disclose what it is.

I trust this information will assist all of you, as in the two or three of you reading this, in your daily lives.

9 comments to Oxford English Dictionary Updates

  • You can buy odd socks now. They come in packs of five. Five socks and none of them match each other. My sisters both have some. I think it’s the reason Big Frank is losing his marbles.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    That would make anyone lose their marbles. Intentionally making something to confuse the older generation. Next they’ll be making biscuits but not disclosing what the flavours are, leaving them to ponder this for years.

  • That would be mad. MAD. I don’t think it’s even legal.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Not a lot of things I do are.

    Wait, what?

    In other news, I’m sure your sisters must have invented their own words for THINGS when they were smaller.

  • Frankie used to call the computer the “tooter”. She extended it after a while and decided that anyone using it was tooting.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    That’s nice.

    I’ve done a lot of tooting in my time. Was it cat girl who wrote the poem for you? The bee bay nudo one?

  • No, I think that was Frankie too. Cat Girl is too busy chasing string.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Cat Girl needs her own web comic where she can chase string to her heart’s content. That’s another story though.

    I have a sudden urge to listen to Panic at the Disco. I’ve no idea why. Is it 2005 again?

  • It might be. Did they sing “this ain’t a scene it’s a god damn arse face”?

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