User avatarProposal: Boring Beans

Good day to you.

I am here to propose a change to this website in light of recent developments.

The Problem

Recently things around here have been too exciting. In just the last three posts there has been talk of goats, owls and handkerchiefs. We cannot go on at this breakneck pace and our readership must surely be suffering from intolerable fatigue. Something has to change.

The Proposal

I now propose that we redirect our efforts and rename this website Boring Beans. In future, all posts must be classified as either “dull”, “tedious” or “soporific”. The colour scheme would be a relaxing mix of greys and beiges. Suitable topics for new posts will include:

  • A discussion of the merits of different methods of preparation for potatoes
  • A photo gallery of close-up pictures demonstrating the texture of a number of different bricks
  • A list of names for different shades of brown

Please give this proposition your fullest consideration and respond with your payment in full by cheque within the next seven days.

Thank you for your time.

Dr. Christopher J. Numbers

13 comments to Proposal: Boring Beans

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    This post is so boring I can’t be bothered to read all of it.

    Can you sum it up in five words?

  • Kevil

    Beige
    Boring
    potatoes
    Cheque
    Numbers

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    That’s excellent and possibly more interesting than the post itself. I love the fact that ‘potatoes’ doesn’t have a capital letter like the other words. You did good.

  • Potatoes were dangerously close to getting too interesting so I took them down a peg or two. On purpose of course. Yes.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Did they have a woman’s face on them?

  • Would you expect a potato to have a woman’s face on it? Have you been eating those ‘special sweets’ again?

  • I find the variation between capitalised and non-capitalised items in Kev’s list to be a bit too interesting and suggest that on Boring Beans this will not be permitted.

    Perhaps we should now move to a vote on this proposal.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I vote uncertainty in the nth degree.

    And yes, all potatoes have a woman’s face on them. You just need to tilt your head and squint with delight.

  • Motion abandoned due to overwhelming apathy.

  • How incredibly dull. I approve.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Can you all stop being so interesting? It’s literally making this post so very ironic.

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