User avatarRemembering is Fun – ‘Kevin’s Favourite Song’

Due to a distinct absence of Kevin and Kevin-based products it now falls upon Chris and myself to fill in the blanks. I’m not very good at grooming poodles or doing up houses so this will be a lengthy and painful process.

I’m also really rank at doing IT. I did an IT once and the whole office didn’t recover for six weeks. I don’t get to do an IT anymore.

Instead let’s hark back to a time before all of this guff. A more simple time when I would spend most weekends levelling up my characters on ‘Secret of Mana’ on the SNES and crying about girls, or a lack thereof. Kevin, meanwhile, was off living it up big style. Not only had he managed to do his face in on a holiday to Greece with Tom Cruise lookalike and badger enthusiast Mr T Matthews, but he also was holding down a sweet job in Monkey Maze and beating up crims as his crime fighting alter ego, The Malevolent Pen.

With all of this going on you’d think he wouldn’t had had time to keep up with the latest fashions, the hottest beats, the sweetest sounds. Well you’d be wrong. Many a time did I go round to his house to find him pulling shapes to THE song of 2002:

He played it constantly. This was his jam and nobody else’s, and if they tried to make it their jam he threw them into a canal. I saw him do it; it was brutal.

There was a time where each time I would call him he’d be sat in a car outside DJ Luck and MC Neat’s recording studio in the hope of catching them and getting them to sign his test vinyl pressing of the song.

I know there will be a large pool of people who won’t believe this because after his endless posts about Status Quo it’s hard to imagine him not wearing a pair of jeans and a ponytail and being chased around by a shit Simon Pegg double. Yet, with my hand on my heart and my leg in the furnace, I can tell no lie.

I wonder if he still plays it now, in the dark, quietly, as his child sleeps. One day Tiny Mountain might wake up as the sun gently caresses his face and he’ll turn to Kevin and his first word will be, “Irie!”

I hope so, guys, I really hope so.

12 comments to Remembering is Fun – ‘Kevin’s Favourite Song’

  • I’ve always said that Kev was certain to name his first born child “Irie” after this song. I suppose “Changlet” isn’t bad though.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I think that might be the Changlet’s middle name. He’s never publicly disclosed it. So the kid could be called Tiny Mountain Changlet Irie Hill.

  • That’s such a lovely name.

    It’s not as good as calling him Christopher Ian Paul McIver Hill, as we were promised, but it’s still very nice.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I had forgotten his broken promise. I’ll be sure to bring that up at the christening or name solidifying ceremony or whatever people do these days.

  • Kev is very religious. I think he’s trying to book York Minster so Changlet can be christened by Archbishop John Sentamu.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    … He’s a real person :O

  • He is. He’s so real. And, now that the thrill of DJ Luck and MC Neat has died down, he’s Kev’s hero and spiritual inspiration.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Sentamu is a great name. No wonder Kev is hounding him for a Changlet christening. He needs to know when to stop though, because I’ve seen him keen and if he doesn’t get a response there’s a chance he’ll be camping outside his house with a box of donuts, waiting for him to come out.

  • I don’t think Kev is the type to actually stalk him. Kev places his apples in the basket of pure faith. I expect he’s spending several hours a day praying for the Lord to intervene and grant him the Christening of his dreams.

  • He once stalked Gary Wilmot until he gave him a signed top hat. The mans a maniac.

  • That’s silly. No way would Gary Wilmot want a signed top hat.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Gary Wilmot has the largest collection of signed top hats in Europe #topfactoftheday

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