User avatarTen Years

It was on this day some ten years ago that one more person was added to the world. There may have been others born that day, more than likely, but were they as important as one Reuben Aiden McIver?

It’ll take a small team of BBC researchers and two psychologists to work that out if you’re looking for actual scientific proof so for now you’ll just have to accept my word for it; they weren’t as important as him and not just because he’s my son.

Over the last ten years the times I’ve laughed the loudest and the longest were with and because of him. Practically every photograph on my phone and on Facebook is of or in some way connected to him. I speak to him every day in some capacity and those closest to me know that if I go somewhere he’s usually trotting somewhere behind.

Granted since his birth I’ve been kicked in the crotch and punched in the face more times then I can remember. He trapped my thumb in the door, shot me in the eye point blank range with a nerf gun, shouted incriminating things about me in public places and almost got us thrown out of a swimming pool once for “questionable behaviour”. Still I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Well, the world could possibly do without Mama MaCootchie but unless she goes into space again that’s not going to happen.

Here’s to the memory of the reminder of the recollection of the thing that is Mr Reuben Aiden McIver. Cheers.

8 comments to Ten Years

  • So what you’re saying is that all your other friends pale into insignificance, and you’d be better off without us, so we should just ignore you from now on?

    Can do!

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    You ignore me anyway; I wouldn’t notice any difference.

    If I didn’t have you and Kev though I wouldn’t have anyone to buy horse books for or send awful films to through the post.

  • I had always just assumed you did that to everyone. Are you saying you didn’t send a copy of “Don’t Be Cruel” by Bobby Brown to your entire address list?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    No. That was solely for you and your ears. Betty Boo would have also have been had some cockney scamp not nicked the damn thing.

  • I bet it was the same cockney scamp that stole my bed.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I think it was Wordsworth who once stated:

    “Those who spreadeth their wings to encompass another’s estate will also eventually on par with the ill fate of their advances make for thy Betty Boo compact disc. Beware!”

    Sensible man was Wordsworth.

  • That was his follow-up to the daffodils thing, wasn’t it? I seem to remember it didn’t sell much.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Yeah for some reason people really like junk about flowers but not about early 90s female rappers.

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