Over the years, the Beans Massive have been careful and diligent in keeping each other informed about items on their respective desks. In 2008, Kev produced an inventory of items on his desk, which was turned into an informative pie chart, and then in 2011 I itemised the objects on my work surface.

More than five years have elapsed since the last update, so it is high time we found out what is now on my desk.

As of 13:57 BST today, the following list is accurate:

• Two phones and two mobile telephones
• A massive old fashioned sellotape dispenser that weighs a ton
• A desk tidy, containing seven biros, three orphaned biro lids, four pairs of scissors and a hoop of white rubber foam with no known purpose
• A cafetière, with damp coffee grounds at the bottom
• A dispensing tub of antibacterial Azowipes
• A remote control with a bit of paper sellotaped to it that reads “RR”
• A blue folder containing lots of disorganised bits of paper, open at a page with today’s date on and a note that says “TOMORROW aft ed no” and another one that says “Matt regions”.
• A dirty sheet of paper with lots of small writing, titled “Thirteen years and not so unlucky”
• A red whiteboard marker
• A manual for a laminating machine
• A roll of sticky paper tape
• My sleeves