User avatarTrekkin’ Abroad: More France

I went to France again, this time for two actual weeks. I made a number of important discoveries to supplement the important knowledge I gained on my last visit.

  1. France has almost no vegetables. Eating green things is considered suspicious and even ordering a “salad” in a restaurant will cause you to be served with a steak, a large portion of chips, a thick peppercorn sauce and a single leaf of curly lettuce. This is not a bad thing in itself, but I am concerned that the majority of the French population may be permanently constipated.
  2. My skin, especially the skin on the top of my head which has only really been able to see daylight for the last year or two, is liable to burn even when protected by a hat and a layer of factor 30 suncream thick enough to dip crisps in.
  3. I am suffering pastry withdrawal symptoms.
  4. French kitties who live in flowerbeds in the street do not want to be your friend.
  5. Forgetting to post to the Beans while away will cause you to lose one bean on the Bean Counter. The Bean Counter is unforgiving of holiday time.

I was hoping to gather more information over a two week period, but the French are a crafty people, and ensured I was plied with excellent beers, wines and artisanal ciders, so to be honest I don’t really remember much of it and the four points above are all I came away with.

5 comments to Trekkin’ Abroad: More France

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    So you tried to steal a French kitty as well? Are you on some cat stealing bender?

  • Yes. I plan to annex the world’s kitties, one at a time. A man’s gotta dream.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    That’s the real reason for the van, isn’t it? You didn’t move house, you were trawling the streets for kitties.

  • You got me. My enormous elephant-carrying van has space for more than ten thousand kitties.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Wow, that’s a lot of kitties. You’re clearly in this for the long run. No short-term kitten-stealing for this man.

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