User avatarUnknown Pleasures

It seems as though most of my posts this month have merely been transcribed moments of wonder from other people, and who am I to change the habit of a lifetime? Besides I’m too busy writing new songs for the Papples, or scratching myself using pointy kitchen utensils, to actually come up with anything myself. I might toss off a photo or something just to make up the numbers.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. I stumbled across this the other day. It is a song written by Reuben presumably just after waking up because not a lot of it makes sense, but these are the things that will be framed and handed out to his friends when he reaches some embarrassing age yet to be determined by me and a case of Jack Daniels.

There isn’t any music so you’ll have to imagine the tune yourself. I’ve copied it word for word, including spelling and grammatical errors. I think it’s much better this way:

I Sang To The Kitty

I sang to the kitty and, He trumped in my face.
So I ran to the kitchen and he followed my trace.

I gave the kitty pie’s and he trumped in my eye’s.

So listen hear Child, most cats are realy quite mild.
So listen hear Child, most cats are realy quite mild.

What I most love about it is that he is trying to educate his peers like he is a wise man or some sort of Shamen; you must watch out for felines farting, it’s a common concern about the pre-teens. In fact I shall be launching a poster campaign along those lines within the coming weeks.

Coming soon: another song I found with a spectacular misspelling of the word ‘yesterday’.

18 comments to Unknown Pleasures

  • This is as charming as it is catchy. I’ve loaded the text file into my iPod so I can read it over and over again on the train home instead of listening to real music.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    In my head I imagine him giggling wildly whilst writing this as though it were the funniest thing ever written.

  • I very rarely want to know what’s in your head, and now is no different.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    So it wouldn’t lift your skirt to know what I was pondering right now?

  • No. My skirt is not for hoisting.

  • Kevil

    Don’t you remember Ian, he bought those special skirt weights to prevent exactly that from happening

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    … and you are?

  • Kevil

    I used to live here, it was a few years ago though, you may not remember… I was that guy, you know… the one who never really said much, but when he did, everyone stopped and listened. Like Vinny Jones in a film, but you know, good.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    … it’s not ringing any bells.

  • The only person whose speech has caused me to stop and listen is myself.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    I was there. I stopped and listened too. In fact I’m still there now…

  • You can go home. I’m pretty sure I’ve finished for the time being. The fact that I left there some time ago should be a clue.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    … you left?

    Oh yeah you did. I must stop using jam jars for glasses.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    But you’re still on stage.

    Oh, that’s not you at all. It’s a cardboard cut-out (with a hidden tape recorder).

  • Are you still there? I think I left my hat. Can you look for my hat before you go?

  • There you go. It has hanging from the glutenheim in the arborium.

  • Did you make up your own grammar as well as your own words there?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Yes. If Mr Chang can do it then so can I #matesquared #mateunited

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