Rise of the Yeti

Over the weekend myself and my counterpart, Mr Professor R of R & R, were researching some matters of interest and came across this rather striking article from 1951 concerning the Yetiferous Cornicopious or Yeti as they are now commonly referred to as.

The Common Yeti

Following the astounding discovery of the skeleton at Ford’s Nook in 1947, the intrepid explorer, Mr Julip Juanoto, has added further to the mystery of the yeti by displaying several of his findings in an exhibition at the Cake Stand in New York. Not only do most of his theories contradict everything that has been seen so far but they take the idea of the yeti and yetis into a completely different direction.

“I no longer want people to refer to them as abominable snowmen because that is a horrible and unfortunately name to have,” explained Mr Juanoto, “it is also entirely incorrect as the yeti is neither made of snow nor a man. The yeti is a construct comprised of wood.”

Yes. The yeti is apparently entirely made of wood.

Mr Juanoto has offered many drawings but not much conclusive evidence to support his statements. His main focus of attention is that nobody has ever really seen the yeti because they are very good at hiding themselves in the forests and woodland areas. All they need to do is stand next to a tree to conceal them and the naked eye can no longer locate them. This then would mean that the skeleton from Ford’s Nook was a fake, if the theory can be proved.

“It is completely codswallop,” demands Thelonius Arkender, who claims to have been chased by a yeti in 1946, “the one that was baying for my blood was at least seven feet tall and covered in woolly fur, like wool. There was no way that sucker was made of wood. If there was only the chance of getting splinters in my mitts then I would have turned and fought the monster. As it happens he had more teeth like the local choir and there was no way I was going to choke at the age of 37.”

So then we will have to leave it to the realm of the imagination, or some hard evidence, to decide which is true.

September 5th, 2011