Archive for December, 2011
But it’s not, is it? This represents a lot unfortunately.
For me in particular it is as follows:
1) This is the last week where you can buy things cheap online, because shipping officially becomes redundant as of Friday as it’s the last day for first class to be posted and still arrive before Christmas. If you’re not in any rush then this doesn’t affect you, and that makes me want to put your face through a window more.
2) This is also the last week that I can get anything for my family for Christmas because come Saturday morning me and the boy will be whisked down to Leeds via East Coast trains for the traditional early family Christmas, so it’s a relatively frenzied look in any shops that still hold stock and then in my heading piecing together various pieces of information about each person to try to find a suitable gift. “My brother John likes television… and he’s used to wearing t-shirts… therefore he’s bound to like this bottle of shampoo?”
3) The works Christmas event. It’s happening this Friday. I’m still not sure whether I want to go, but I should at least show my face. We have many interesting developments over the night including a singer (?), a magician (??) and then a disco which will no doubt include several Christmas songs, a Grease and possibly even a Dirty Dancing megamix. If they whip out the Steps megamix then I walk. There’s only so much that one person can stand after all.
I only hope that I can cope with the pressure as I know my bank account has already collapsed under the weight of expectation. People still accept blood as payment for goods and services, right?
December 12th, 2011
Everyone else is too busy tweeting about The X Factor. I’m sat here listening to the Black Keys and wondering how to waste the next two and a half hours.
What I should be doing is sorting out the remaining things that need getting for Christmas or perhaps finishing all the half-finished efforts lurking in this room. I don’t want to though. I feel compelled to start something else instead. That’s just going to minimise what little space I have though, so that’s off the cards. I think I’m expecting something exciting to happen, not taking into account that it’s a Sunday and everyone is plumface knackered because it’s another Monday tomorrow. So… a pig on a hovering skateboard is not going to crash through the wall then. So… Mr Vinyl won’t enlist me to capture his MP3 enemies lurking on the Eastern sea board. Nope. It’s just me and piles and piles of stuff.
Time for a clear out.
At least in the morning there’s three parcels waiting across the road in the sandwich shop. A little excitement before the cold walk to work.
December 4th, 2011
It is customary in December for me to grow a beard. Because I can. It also protects my face from the cold thus making a rather helpful addition to my viso/volto. So having hacked off what little was left I am naked in the facial region, patiently waiting for the inevitable to happen.
I was hoping to take part in Decembeard, some sort of fund-raising activity in the same vein as Movember, however it would appear as though it hasn’t really taken off in the UK and surprisingly people don’t want to give you money just because you haven’t shaved for a while. Which is a shame as growing face candy is one of the few things I’m good at.
So if anyone anywhere wants to give me money for growing a beard please do so. There are many charities out there that need your support. They can have whatever gets shuffled in my direction.
December 1st, 2011
So we’re slipping into December without realising that is unless you’re one of the many people who have been waiting for this very moment with which to rip out the Christmas tree and shove it in the corner of the living room. I’ve heard of people who already did it in November; how very worrying.
What you want is a list of things you don’t really care about. So here it is. Actually it’s a list of things that you don’t really care about but I do because at the moment this bird is all mine and what I say goes and right now I’m going to waste my life for the next five minutes or so telling you the best five songs I’ve heard this year (so far, I mean we still have another 30 days of searching but what are the chances of finding something incredible?):
1. My Pet Snakes / Big Wave by Jenny and Johnny – it’s hard to choose between the two, one a very weird song about two messed up people who still stay together even though that hate each other (I think) the other an ode to California but talking about how… messed up people are. Ah I see a pattern.
2. Howlin’ For You / Tighten Up by The Black Keys – again, hard to choose, they’re both jiggy and make you want to pull some shapes in the most elegant fashion. I’m sorry I ignored them for so long. Yes, Siobhan Merry, you were right again as always in the end.
3. Wolves at Night by Manchester Orchestra – they supported Biffy Clyro in 2009 and I enjoyed them then but it’s only now they’ve gotten through. Come back to Newcastle!
4. Anything from the Scott Pilgrim Soundtrack – guh huh, yeah, it’s scuzzy and most of the songs by Sex Bob-omb are only two minutes long but even if they weren’t from a superb film such as SP I’d still love them. “We are Sex Bom-omb and we’re here to make think about death and get sad and stuff!
5. Holland, 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel – amazing tune coupled with barmy lyrics, I want to listen to this over and over again until it makes sense and it never will.
Strictly speaking all of these weren’t from 2011. You know it makes sense.
December 1st, 2011