Newsboost Flume Zoom – “Leave It To Me, I’ve Got This”

May 19th, 2011

Reports are flooding in from the North-East of England of a man going around the area and offering his services for what are mostly services and jobs which are way too difficult.

The first report came from members of the public at the Theatre Royal in Newcastle upon Tyne, which is currently being modernised and updated. “I was stood taking pictures of Greys Monument when I noticed that there was a man climbing up the scaffolding at the side of the Theatre Royal,” said Keith Arborium, local photographer and all round nosey parker, “He eventually got to the top, strode over to the foreman and said, “Leave it to me, I’ve got this!” Quite what he thought he was able to do nobody could be sure. He picked up some pipes, struggled to know what to do with them, gently dropped them on the floor and raced off down the hill.”

It didn’t stop there.

“It was in the afternoon and we were quite busy for a Thursday when this guy just pushed his way in front of me, grabbed the scissors and said, “Leave it to me, I’ve got this,” wailed Mavis Davis, hairdresser to the stars, “He then proceeded to attempt to cut this poor woman’s hair only to cut most of the length, stared into the mirror at the disastrous results, smiled like a simpleton before running away down the hill.”

Police are baffled as to why this man would be putting himself into these situations when he clearly does not have the mad skills or expertise to carry them off. Concerns were raised as to the safety of the general public however since the initial reports arrived the man has disappeared. We would urge anyone though who knows the whereabouts of LITMIGT to come forward and expose this idiot for the moron he is.

Entry Filed under: Bedtime stories,Ian,Loins