Silly Bint of the Month – Katie Melua

October 3rd, 2006

I’ve decided to start a new category for all those silly bints that plague our everyday life. This month I have decided to nominate Katie Melua. Why you may ask? Well, not only is she still the blandest of the bland but in an effort to drum up publicity she performed underwater yesterday at some cruddy oil rig. I don’t know about you but if I was a rig worker the last thing I would want is to be stuck all the way down there, in a hot, claustrophobic environment with, “There are nine million bicycles in Bejing…” echoing around the room. Surely that’d be the ideal place to organise a lynching. Noone would know and there are no laws under the sea >:) or is that just me? Then she just flew straight home to London.

What a silly bint.

Entry Filed under: Ian,Rants,Silly Bint of the Month

8 Comments

  • 1. Chris  |  October 3rd, 2006 at 13:08

    How silly.

    There are no laws under the sea, only the rough justice of Neptune. And he HATES Katie Melua.

    An opportunity missed, I think we all agree.

  • 2. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  October 4th, 2006 at 07:19

    I expect many a sailor has experieced the rough justice of Neptune. Imagine it, falling overboard and a huge half-man half-fish tries to kill you. If I was at a beach I wouldn’t worry about Jaws or jellyfish I’d be fearing the mighty Neptune.

    I think he was on holiday when it happened.

  • 3. Kevil  |  October 4th, 2006 at 13:25

    I heard he’d gone to see an Iron Maiden gig that was being performed in the wreckacge of the titanic.

  • 4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  October 5th, 2006 at 08:27

    Imagine Bruce Dickinson screaming about “RUN TO THE HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLS!” and Neptune is there, head banging away, not even thinking that Melua might be poaching his kingdom. I bet she planned it perfectly to avoid his wrath.

    The bitch.

  • 5. Chris  |  October 11th, 2006 at 20:11

    For some reason I thought of David Dickinson when you said Bruce Dickinson. I got totally the wrong picture there.

    In other news I met Michael Barrymore today.

  • 6. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  October 12th, 2006 at 09:01

    Did he meet you back?

    *Imagines David Dickinson screaming ‘Run to the hiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllls!’ and wishes he hadn’t – too much fake tan*

  • 7. Chris  |  October 12th, 2006 at 14:43

    Yes, in fact we met each other.

  • 8. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  October 12th, 2006 at 21:06

    It wasn’t in a swimming pool was it?

    *fake laughter*

    They don’t make ’em like they used ta!


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