Mr Smudgey Exposes Himself

December 28th, 2007

Hello, it is I, once again, sat on my loins in anticipation, waiting to tell the world once again how I am the most famous man on this planet at this very point in time. People ask me all the time if I ever get tired of being famous and to those people I say, “I don’t pay you to talk love I pay you to…” erm, fix my shower. Yes. That sounds like a good cover. Let’s take another walk down Smudgedy Lane (like Memory Lane but smudgified) and bask in my celebritism.

Point Number Three – being just out of show from Rembrandt’s famous painting ‘The Night Watch’.


I was having a shave in Doncy McGlagin’s Hair Emporium when the lads started shouting for us to come outside. I thought they were just gonna pour rancid tomatoes over my head like they did last year. It turns out there was some painter guy who happened to be passing and decided to do a picture. Clearly because I’m the most famous they wanted me in it but the temptation of having a huge knife removing tiny hairs from my face was too much and I had to pass. You can see Mick and John on the left pointing at me as they can just about make out my silouette in one of the nearby streetlamps. Colin at the front is trying to make the point that they should wait for me however nobody is listening. You can also just about make out Crumbalina who’s hiding behind Mick in the red on the left as she’s remembered she hasn’t paid back the three shillings I leant her to buy her house.

And I never got it back. You try and buy a house with that now I tell you. That makes a total of three now. I’ll be catching, taming and ramping that dragon of success before you can tell me that I’m ramping a dragon and I shouldn’t be because they have short tempers.

Entry Filed under: Mr. Smudgey


  • 1. Chris  |  December 29th, 2007 at 12:57

    Nobody has commented on this yet, so I’m doing so now.

  • 2. Kevil  |  December 30th, 2007 at 16:47

    I am not commenting on this, instead I am commenting on the weather outside: Its crap.

  • 3. Chris  |  December 30th, 2007 at 17:52

    This comment is not related to any of the other items on this page, and instead refers only to itself. Even then, it only refers to itself to pass the brief opinion that it’s not very interesting to read.

  • 4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  December 31st, 2007 at 10:51

    I would like to refer to what Mr Smudgey, Kev and Marshall have all written but because I’m a bitch I choose to instead comment on how loins are STILL not back in fashion. I’ve been plugging this baby for almost five years now… but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up.

    There is hope for the name of loins!

  • 5. Chris  |  December 31st, 2007 at 17:19

    I am drinking a cup of coffee, and writing about this action, while studiously avoiding all the other subjects so far covered on this page.

  • 6. Doody McChickery  |  January 2nd, 2008 at 07:04

    I decided to disregard all other comments and whilst not looking at them simultaneously also reading them, and coincidentally whilst agreeing also disagreeing with the subject matter.

  • 7. Kevil  |  January 2nd, 2008 at 11:47

    This comment refuses to accept the grim relaity in which it resides, whilst at the same time, being rather happy about something it has just heard on the radio.

  • 8. Mr Funky Funky Funky Trunk  |  January 2nd, 2008 at 13:03

    Want you.
    Coo coo.
    Want you.
    Coo coo.

    In the shade, in the shade…

  • 9. Chris  |  January 2nd, 2008 at 17:29

    I’ve forgotten what this page is about so I couldn’t possibly write a relevant comment here. Instead, this rather vacuous one will have to do.

  • 10. Mr Smudgey  |  January 3rd, 2008 at 08:37

    Well I was hoping someone would comment on my plight-er-istic adventure to be known as the most famous person in the world.

  • 11. Kevil  |  January 3rd, 2008 at 10:25

    Screw you Smudgey

  • 12. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  January 3rd, 2008 at 16:48

    Kev don’t be so xenophobic. At least we have other people coming to the site and inputting informative pieces of journalism on when we can’t be bothered :)

  • 13. Chris  |  January 3rd, 2008 at 18:57

    Do we? Where? 😮

  • 14. Kevil  |  January 4th, 2008 at 09:46

    Screw you Ian

  • 15. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  January 4th, 2008 at 12:31

    It’s all getting heterosexual around here tonight.

Recent Comments


February 2020
« Jan    


Posts by Category

Chris’s Twitterings

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Ian’s Twitterings

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Kev’s Twitterings

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.