Inappropriate spending

May 17th, 2008

I’m writing this post on a stupidly expensive gadget which I quite clearly cannot afford. It enables me to read my emails and look at websites and that while sitting on a train (like now), or while lying in bed, or mincing along the street like some 21st century trendy London dweller, as though I was an internet connected Austin Powers.

I hate Austin Powers.

I am able to do this because last night I went out and spent a massive amount of money on an iPhone. I am not proud of this, but it is so shiny that I am finding it hard to care because it really is vey shiny and sexy and that.

I can’t afford this and will regret it before too long, but as I told myself as I left the O2 shop, I needed a new phone because my old one is shagged, and in any case, fuck it, you only live once. Hurrah for impulse buys!

Entry Filed under: Chris


  • 1. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 19th, 2008 at 08:08

    Does it give off a raw sexuality not found in other phones?

  • 2. Chris  |  May 19th, 2008 at 11:03

    Yes. I’m writing this reply on it and the tingling in my loins is almost unbearable to be honest. Sometimes I wonder if I can go on using it as a phone when all I really want is to make sweet love to it.

  • 3. Kevil  |  May 19th, 2008 at 11:46

    Its nothing special… Alright it is… but its too fiddly.

    * sulks because he doesnt have one *

  • 4. Chris  |  May 19th, 2008 at 12:19

    Just because your fingers are too stupid for it!

  • 5. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 19th, 2008 at 13:07

    Stupid fingers Hilly Hill! Ha ha!

  • 6. Chris  |  May 20th, 2008 at 11:21

    My fingers are sleek and graceful like a gazelle on the dancefloor. That’s why I’m allowed to have one and you’re NOT.

  • 7. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 20th, 2008 at 12:50

    Yeah, sleaky fingers beats stupid fingers HANDS DOWN


  • 8. Auds  |  May 21st, 2008 at 08:59

    its only a phone lads, get a grip!

  • 9. Kevil  |  May 21st, 2008 at 11:08

    Get back to Cranford. Or Cadfiel or some other period poop!

  • 10. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 21st, 2008 at 12:36

    Here here!

    After all that’s not Trevor Eve.

  • 11. Chris  |  May 21st, 2008 at 13:25

    Only a phone?

    I don’t think you understand.

  • 12. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 21st, 2008 at 17:07

    This is the person who bought an I-pod just because they were small and shiny.

  • 13. Auds  |  June 2nd, 2008 at 12:55

    I bought an I-pod as my friend was too embarrassed to be seen out with me in public on holiday as I took my Sony Walkman which plays cassette tapes and with the luggage restrictions these days I would only be able to take one Jake Thackray tape with me which doesn’t leave much scope for variety.

  • 14. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 3rd, 2008 at 08:15

    I thought you told me all you needed was a bit of Jake and you’d be fine. But wait no, you’d need the Fratellis so you can do the little finger jive. You can’t finger jive to Jake.

  • 15. Chris  |  June 3rd, 2008 at 10:57

    Can everyone here please stop writing like 80-year-olds. Unless you are an out of touch pensioner, it’s an iPod, not an “I-pod”.

    Come on, people. Seriously.

  • 16. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 3rd, 2008 at 18:50

    What’s a pensioner?

  • 17. Chris  |  June 4th, 2008 at 17:53

    Someone who no longer finger-jives because of arthritis.

  • 18. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 9th, 2008 at 12:45

    Oh, the ones that look like shrivelled up runner beans? Stand in queues? Fart without realising?

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I didn’t know they had a name.

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