Things around me

August 5th, 2009

Hello children! It’s time for another brilliant list of all the things that are in close proximity to me!

  • fancy new VOIP telephone that doesn’t work very well, and requires you to press “OK” after you dial a number or it won’t do anything.
  • 330ml bottle of Tesco apple juice (from concentrate), with about 40% of juice remaining.
  • thermal non-spill mug with dregs of coffee in it.
  • my portable telephone, currently set to vibrate.
  • keyboard, manufactured by HP, with silver strip around the function keys.
  • large speaker which is hardwired to Network Ringmain Point 22, so if you switch it on you can hear the Afghan Stream as carried by BBC FM relays in Kabul, Mazar and Herat.
  • pair of Canford headphones, level limited to -93dBA, with tangled cable.
  • lid of my USB pen drive.
  • empty plastic cup.
  • grey optical mouse with scroll wheel.
  • my hands.

I will be delighted to answer your questions on this subject. Please raise your hand if you wish to make an enquiry.

Entry Filed under: Chris,Monkeys,Quite nice,Things


  • 1. Kevil  |  August 7th, 2009 at 15:08

    I raised my hand, but you never asked me. I’ve got bored now and no longer wish to participate.

  • 2. Charley McFarley  |  August 7th, 2009 at 15:15

    I haven’t got any hands.

  • 3. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  August 10th, 2009 at 08:41

    If I raise my loins does that count as the same thing?

  • 4. Kevil  |  August 10th, 2009 at 09:34

    No, that gets you time in chokey.

  • 5. Chris  |  August 11th, 2009 at 08:39

    Ok, since the hand thing isn’t working, I’ll open the floor to questions. Mind you don’t fall in.

  • 6. Kevil  |  August 11th, 2009 at 09:34

    * fell in and cant get out *

    Can I have a ladder please?

  • 7. Chris  |  August 12th, 2009 at 09:26

    In answer to Kev’s question: yes. In a bit.

    Any more questions?

  • 8. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  August 13th, 2009 at 13:49

    If I turn around so you can’t see me properly then raise my loins will that still buy me time in chokey?

  • 9. Chris  |  August 14th, 2009 at 12:07

    Yes, especially now you’ve told us you’re going to do it.

    I suggest you leave your loins at ground level like a responsible citizen, and don’t start getting any more crazy ideas.

  • 10. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  August 16th, 2009 at 19:17

    But there’s no point just raising my hand because you’d be expecting it, because you asked people to do so. You didn’t ask people to raise their loins though. I was tempted to throw apples at you instead however I chose not to.

  • 11. Chris  |  August 17th, 2009 at 11:03

    The insolence! There will be no answers for you.

    There will, however, be an assortment of fruits and a range of hot beverages of your choice.

  • 12. Kevil  |  August 17th, 2009 at 11:13

    Can I have a ladder yet?

  • 13. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  August 17th, 2009 at 17:35

    Kev, I mean you know me, I don’t like being blunt especially around family members and “fake” uncles. But please, in the nicest possible way, fuck off!

  • 14. Kevil  |  August 18th, 2009 at 08:25

    * from deep inside the hole *

    YAY! Ian actaully swore without asterisks! Tis a wonderful day.

    * Sulks due to lack of ladder *

  • 15. Chris  |  August 19th, 2009 at 10:32

    Yeah, yeah, whatever. Later, ladder man.

  • 16. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  August 21st, 2009 at 20:40

    I thrust in the general direction of the space where a ladder should be and ESPECIALLY in the direction of the space where a ladder with you on it should be.

    How’d you like them apples?

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