The Loss Of An Institution

March 26th, 2010

It is with deep and sorrowful regret that I must inform the world of the imminent closure of Jerry Loinsford’s Loinsford Academy. Despite trying to struggle with modern times and the recession it has unfortunately taken its toll on one of life’s great survivors. Jerry Loinsford, owner, founder and discoverer of many hidden secrets that you and I will never know about, is trying to stay optimistic about the news.

“It’s a shame yes but the same thing happened in 1987 and we came back stronger than ever after that! It’s just at this point in time the Academy is no longer needed, and I fully accept that. One of these days though when you least expect it we will return, like a tidal wave to the face!”

He then picked himself up by the seat of his pants and left through a gap in the sky.

Each of the remaining students has had their fees returned along with a signed copy of Mr Loinsford’s latest collection of poetry entitled ‘Loinsfully Yours: In And Out Like A Rushed Job’. Copies have been trading on Ebay for up to seven days with no buyers.

Entry Filed under: Ian,Tragic

16 Comments

  • 1. Chris  |  March 27th, 2010 at 09:55

    I remain unmoved by this news. I’m still exactly where I was before I heard about it.

  • 2. Kevil  |  March 27th, 2010 at 17:54

    The scandle with all the letter thefts must have really hit his reputation hard.

  • 3. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  March 27th, 2010 at 22:02

    Let it be known gentlemen that I have not eaten a single olive since this news entered my ears.

    I can’t even pick up my shoes. WHATS THE POINT ANYMORE?

  • 4. Chris  |  March 28th, 2010 at 13:05

    Yeah? Well I’m not fussed. Can I have your olives?

  • 5. Kevil  |  March 29th, 2010 at 16:27

    WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT OLIVES??

    They taste like the little but of odd sliva you get in your mouth, right before you throw up.

    Mmmm tasty.

  • 6. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  March 29th, 2010 at 19:24

    I agree.They taste like the wronger side of wrong hence why I haven’t eaten any since the news and I tell you what sirs I won’t be eating anytime soon.

    Ba Boon.

  • 7. Chris  |  March 31st, 2010 at 17:22

    I really hated olives until I was 25 and 3 months of age and THEN I suddenly just got them. Now I like them and I buy them and I put them in my food and stuff like that.

    True story.

  • 8. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  April 3rd, 2010 at 21:48

    You put them in your mouth? Filthy witch!

  • 9. Chris  |  April 6th, 2010 at 10:00

    Where’s Kev-head gone?

  • 10. Kevil  |  April 7th, 2010 at 13:05

    Mooooooon.

  • 11. Chris  |  April 7th, 2010 at 20:16

    Have you turned into Insanity Prawn Boy again?

  • 12. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  April 8th, 2010 at 07:38

    Insanity what? Have I missed something? I mean I know I missed both World Wars and Watergate but still gimme a break.

  • 13. Kevil  |  April 8th, 2010 at 08:02

    DIGEST THIS: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/onthemoon/

  • 14. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  April 10th, 2010 at 20:49

    You know what I’m going to say and I will say it, just not now but possibly quite soon.

  • 15. Kevil  |  April 12th, 2010 at 07:37

    BOOM?

  • 16. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  April 14th, 2010 at 12:50

    Nay nonny no nay. I shall say, “Iodine Sandwiches!” and be done with it sir.


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