State of the Beans Address

June 23rd, 2010

The 2010 State of the Beans Address
Delivered by Dr. Humphrey Bumfrey M.D.

Settle down, everyone, settle down. Thank you.

It is a great honour to be invited back here to Da Beans for another time, and to be asked to deliver my analysis of the current state of this fine web institution. Being a scientist with all sorts of clever gadgets and fancy equations out of books and that, I am incredibly clever, much more so than any of you, and therefore you have to listen to me and think I’m great.

First to the trends in posting volumes here on Da Beans.

After a steady, level second half of 2009, figures become erratic around the New Year 2010 period. This is down to a number of factors.

  1. Ian making many posts in December, each composed of thousands of deadly nanoposts.
  2. Everyone losing interest for a bit.

I have rubbed my stethoscope on Da Beans and given it some calpol, and I am pleased to say it has made a full recovery. Posting volumes are now back at normal pre-blowout levels and, as you can see from this graph, this is unlikely to be a temporary result.

This is clearly a graph

Next we turn to comment levels and quality.

It has been observed that there were “good old days” on Da Beans when posts were excellent and comments were both humourful and numberous. These things tend to change upwardly as well as downbound, but in general there are comments being made today that are as good, wholesome and nutritious as anything posted in 2006. It is easy to see the past through lead-lined glasses.

Finally, I will leave you with a note of optimism for the future. I believe Da Beans has a bright future ahead of it, partly for the reasons outlined above, but mostly because Saint King has been told where to stick it.


Entry Filed under: Chris,Great,Look at this


  • 1. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  June 24th, 2010 at 12:09

    This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like getting skis for Christmas. I am glad that we were good then and we’re still good now. We have ideas and they are safe and secure within our station.

  • 2. Chris  |  June 24th, 2010 at 18:20

    Our station? Do we have a station? You mean that for four long years I have yearned to step aboard a train from Beans Central Station and we’ve had one all along?

  • 3. Kevil  |  June 27th, 2010 at 00:01

    Yeah, but unfortunately to get to it, you have to go thru the Character Hatch (TM).

  • 4. Chris  |  June 27th, 2010 at 10:03

    Oh no, I’m not going through there. I still sometimes hear people thumping on the other side of it. I’m sure it’s Saint King trying to get back to bother us all.

    Did I-MAC go down the hatch or is he still about the place somewhere?

  • 5. Ian 'Mac Mac Mac Mac' McIver  |  June 29th, 2010 at 12:38

    Nah, he’s still knocking around somewhere. I think he’s propping up the ceiling in the East Wing corridor, still eager to tell you about how different it is in the year 3000. Bless.

  • 6. Chris  |  June 30th, 2010 at 14:46

    I thought it was the year 4000 that he usually bangs on about?

    Anyway, I’m more concerned about the fact that all our ideas are safe and secure inside a station that we can’t get to. What’s the point of that? No wonder the chumblies are running dry.

  • 7. Ian 'Mac Mac Mac Mac' McIver  |  July 1st, 2010 at 16:06

    It’s been so long I’ve forgotten. I don’t wander around that part of the building anymore you see. Too many bad memories.

    We still have plenty of chumblies. If we start having ideas that float upwards then we’ll be surfing the waves in Turd City.

  • 8. Kevil  |  July 2nd, 2010 at 15:06

    Lets mount a voyage to the ideas station…. I’ll bring the guns.

  • 9. Ian 'Mac Mac Mac Mac' McIver  |  July 5th, 2010 at 07:39

    Okay, but only because it sounds like an epic quest filled with intrigue, excitement and huge battles. That’s the only reason I’m signing up.


  • 10. Chris  |  July 8th, 2010 at 11:15

    Yeah, alright then. But I’m not going without my lucky codpiece.

  • 11. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  July 9th, 2010 at 22:01

    Grab the codpiece, the sild and a couple o’ hash browns. We could write a story as we go but given how the last book somehow disappeared it’s probably a bad idea, like the Dandy Warhols.

  • 12. Chris  |  July 11th, 2010 at 01:41

    No, forget it. I’m going to put my feet up by the roaring log radiator.

  • 13. I-MAC  |  July 12th, 2010 at 16:52



  • 14. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  July 13th, 2010 at 07:34

    That’s an interesting story from another FAKER!

    What is it with people coming on here and pretending to be our friends, colleagues, characters and various counterparts? I should launch a campaign.

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