Chiquita! Let’s take a little time out to have a quiet reading of a poem… by that notorious of poets Arthur “Lemon” Lemonson:

Stolen By Flossy

Five times that horse
Dared to chew my shoe,
I didn’t ask it to

The first time he knew what he was doing
Once he started he never planned on stopping.
Just chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing,
Despite my harsh words and constant booing.

The second time I guessed his plan,
Yet that didn’t stop him, believe me,
That horse was fast like electricity.
Another pair lost, down the pan.

The third he snook up from behind,
The fourth may have just been in my mind…
BUT THE FOURTH, the fourth, that definately happened.

The latest attack on my footwear,
Involved a distraction from a passing fire engine,
Racing to a nearby fun fair
I unwittingly walked into him
Whilst dazed the deed was done
That crazy horse he did run
Satisfied he had had his fun.

How do you tell your parents
Five times in a row
Your shoes were nicked by “Flossy” the horse
So back to Clarks we go

You say high five, I say low seven. You see? See? See what I did there? Check… my… bad…self.