Flip dribble snores beached whale excess… and now the main event!

The Ballad of El-Jamo!











Here-O the lowely ballad,
Of sadness and despair.
The tragic tale of a pitiful creation,
Who’s life was filled with woe and devestation.

It’s hard to describe El-Jamo,
Such a bizarre creature of sorts,
The cross between an eagle and a jar of jam,
Obviously nature had some sort of plan.
Born with spanners for arms and hands,
No wings to speak of,
He stands guard at his nest of jam,
Never rising to the sky above.
This upsets El-Jamo,
Stuck on the ground for eternity,
With a lousy job and a lousy life,
In his dreams he longs to be free.

Once he fell out of the nest,
There was no-one to guard the jam!
Stuck at the base of the tree,
Scrabbling to return to his post, desperately…
In a end a magic fairy gave him a wish (as they do),
Whatever he wanted would be so,
Seeing as he was as clever as a box of buttons and
He could have wished for a pair of wings,
However to reiterate how thick he was
He thought and wished to be back in his nest,
The gift of cleverness he was not blessed.

El-Jamo passed away last year,
But don’t despair, left a legacy did he (ye hee!)
One that aspired to something more,
Than sitting in a tree.

For one, he made Chris Moyles,
Baked a loaf of bread as long as a footy pitch,
Pissed on Nelson and
Called Jade Goody a slack bitch.
How did he do all this
Without leaving the confinds of the tree?
Like most people he made it up,
Then he wrote it in a letter to me.