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Whose idea was this? Nobody wants this. Nobody, ever, wants this.
I think it would frame my disgusting appearance in a beautiful way.
We can all agree it would frame your disgusting appearance. The three windows would provide a triptych of the horrifying scene: window 1 would show your gurning, straining face; window 3 your trousers gathered around your hairy ankles, and window 2 the centre of action, hopefully with enough clothing around to cover the more unmentionable sights.
The fact that this could be a real thing scares me.
The fact that you’ve pictured it and can describe it in such a vivid way frightens me even more.
I didn’t just imagine it… I also sketched it. But you don’t want to see that.
The world is not prepared for such a sight. If such a drawing exists I implore you to burn it at the earliest possible convenience.
No, I’m going to keep it as evidence in case this toilet is ever brought to justice. (What?)
Are you saying that you are going to keep a drawing of me on the toilet until the very same toilet is put to trial in a court of law? What kind of half-wit lawyer would accept such a case?
As it happens, Nicholas Wolfwood, Attorney at Law, has already expressed an interest in taking it on.
That doesn’t surprise me. What a guy! He’ll stick up for anyone. That’s his oeuvre.
I’ve told him no. I’m not going to be represented by the sort of half-wit lawyer who posts me things at my own expense.
Is this kind of along the same lines as that famous quote from Groucho Marx, “I wouldn’t wanna be part of any club that would have me as a member”?
It’s like that, yes, but in a situation where a toilet is embroiled (embroiled!) in a court case.
There was a time when I didn’t know what the word ’emboiled’ meant. I am 55% sure I know now though.
When it comes to the word ’embroiled’ though I am 57% sure I know what it means.
I wouldn’t want a toilet to be emboiled. I think it would intensify the smell.
What about embalmed? Would you ever embalm a toilet?
I don’t think I would. But if I was expecting a royal visit I think I’d emblem one. I think the royals would like that.
Would you ever embiggin one? That’s a very cromulent word.
Perfectly cromulent, if you ask me.
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