In the fourth episode of Go There and Do Things, in which Kev and I went to South Yorkshire in order to do things, one of the places we visited was called Birdwell. At the start of our visit, Kev, or possibly me, I can’t remember who, stands in front of the sign for the town and says “BIRDWELL” in the rasping voice of an upper class villain. That one word has stayed with me, along with the stupid way we say “THURGOLAND” in the same episode.
A couple of miles from my new house is a tourist attraction where you can look at lots of birds. I pass it almost every day. It’s called Birdworld.
And obviously, every single time I pass it, I say “BIRDWORLD” out loud in that same voice.
7 comments on “Birdworld”
This is excellent news. I expect Jenny Wren is always sitting in the cafe or standing in the gift shop explaining how great her farm is. Other than that trivial piece of trite, it sounds immense.
It is immense, and it’s attached to the garden centre next door too, so if you want to buy plants of weedkiller or novelty socks or the sort of lunch old people like to eat in garden centres, you’ve got your whole day out right there.
I don’t like the ominous way the birb is looking down at the sign. He’s got fresh hair, that’s for sure, yet you can tell he’s about to do something diabolical.
He’s going to crack in your garden centre cafe serving of fish and chips with mushy peas, that’s what he’s going to do, and all the pensioners in the garden centre cafe are going to come over and make a fuss and you’ll be all embarrassed.
But I’ve been looking forward to that all week. That was my treat for Sunday; why would he do that?
I meant to say he was going to crap in it, but for some reason it got autocorrected to crack. I don’t know how you crack into fish and chips.
When it comes to delicate matters such as these you should always do it crimsonly. You don’t want to waste any pound minutes.
I think you should film cracking into fish and chips like the pizza video.