I need you to all listen to me very carefully when I say this. I am deadly serious.
I need you to understand that there is a time for nonsense and there is also a time for being serious. I am the most serious I’ve ever been without crossing that line and turning into Serious Ian again (nobody wants that).
If we’re to start this new year fresh then you’re all going to have to give me enough time to eat my oranges.
I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t want you running into my house with whatever gibberish you need to tell me; it can wait. I need to take some time to eat my oranges.
Whatever you need to tell me, put a pin it in and try me the next day. Whatever job needs doing, you’re going to have to give me some extra time to get it finished. I’ve got oranges to eat and I won’t let anyone get in my way.
There. I’ve said it. Don’t get upset because I’m telling everyone the same thing. My oranges come first.
7 comments on “Can we be serious, please?”
This presents me with a dilemma. Obviously I want to give you enough time to eat your oranges, but I don’t know how long you need. But I also can’t ask you in case you’re still eating them. Nightmare.
Nightmare, mate. I suppose you could sit and wait until I post a comment and know at that very point I’m free to answer any questions you have.
You’ve now posted a comment, so have you eaten your oranges?
If so – how were there?
If not – I’m really sorry, forget I said anything, thank you for your time.
I haven’t finished yet, mate. Trust me, you’ll know when I’m done.
That sounds like a threat, but I’m not going to do anything about it because I need to give you time to eat your oranges.
Damn right you are. Don’t be chugging your chutney too soon.
If I come home and you’re Pete too soon I’ll be livid.
No chutney chugging over here. But when this is all done and I can finally ask you questions again my first one will be about how you can stretch out the eating of four oranges to upwards of six weeks.