One of the places I sometimes go for lunch when I’m at work has recently started handing out fortune cookies. Sometimes when you go to pay they’ll just drop one into your bag.

When you eat them the cookie itself is unbelievably dry and tasteless, which is exactly how a fortune cookie should be. You’re not meant to enjoy eating them in any way. What you’re there for is the fortune. My first one said this.

“All’s well that ends well” is not a fortune. It does not tell me my fate. It’s a cliche and I was not given a cliche cookie.

Maybe I just got a dud. But then I picked up a couple more on subsequent visits, and they were just as bad.

As a result I have been left without any idea of my future. Three cookies in a row have failed to tell me anything of my fortunes and instead have just insulted me with a bunch of vague inspirational quotes and truisms.

This is why I am turning to the Beans Massive for help. I don’t know how supernatural you are, but if you have any way of telling the future, I’m all ears. Tell me my fate in the comments. Thanks.