One of the places I sometimes go for lunch when I’m at work has recently started handing out fortune cookies. Sometimes when you go to pay they’ll just drop one into your bag.
When you eat them the cookie itself is unbelievably dry and tasteless, which is exactly how a fortune cookie should be. You’re not meant to enjoy eating them in any way. What you’re there for is the fortune. My first one said this.
“All’s well that ends well” is not a fortune. It does not tell me my fate. It’s a cliche and I was not given a cliche cookie.
Maybe I just got a dud. But then I picked up a couple more on subsequent visits, and they were just as bad.
As a result I have been left without any idea of my future. Three cookies in a row have failed to tell me anything of my fortunes and instead have just insulted me with a bunch of vague inspirational quotes and truisms.
This is why I am turning to the Beans Massive for help. I don’t know how supernatural you are, but if you have any way of telling the future, I’m all ears. Tell me my fate in the comments. Thanks.
9 comments on “Unfortunate”
“If you try to run your life based on Itsu “quote cookies” you are destined for banality and overpriced lunches.”
That’s a real burn of a fortune cookie. I didn’t like that at all. And the cookie itself was so dry that it made me cough.
“Keep it up on the door and a string with his hair and then get it back to work.”
I let my phone decide what your future should be and it came out with this nonsense. Do with it as you see fit.
I’m going to submit it to Itsu for the next round of fortune cookies. It’s at least as good as any of theirs.
What about this?
” Leave all the fruit in my fridge and put them down in the last spell.”
I reckon I should start charging for this.
That’s more of a sinister instruction for a spy ring.
Actually, you’re right. Too niche. Let’s try again:
“Check the link to see if they don’t know how busy one person can get.”
I don’t know what that is. I get what it means, but what does it mean?
Oh yes, that’s obvious. We know what it means.
But what does it mean?
Beautiful.