Shock news today as Preston City Council and Blackburn with Darwen Council announce joint plans for a brand spanking new development to be built between two well-established towns.

We have it on good authority that something new is happening between Preston and Blackburn.

“This country is full of old,” said local Preston councillor Tolika Doolittle. “It’s swimming in old. We are surrounded by history which is great for tourism, however it doesn’t leave much room for anything else. We’re seeking to build something special that will get people’s tongues wagging.”

The new establishment is set to be built in the space between the two aforementioned towns.

“We’ve taken a bit of Blackburn and taken a bit of Preston, carved them off like slices of cheese. Nobody was really using this land anyway. Once you’ve seen the initial artist’s impressions you will be blown away.”

‘Presburn’, as it is currently known, is still at the initial early stages, with development due to start in six months time and completion expected by 2030.

Locals have been resisting though with several online petitions raising awareness of the small villages already built in the proposed area of development.

Hoghton, Feniscowles and Witton Country Park all sound made up but they are real places with real people living there. We pushed Tolika Doolittle for further comments about this.

“Where? Who? Do they have a Starbucks? Probably not. It’s best to bulldoze now and ask questions later. You’ll all thank me in the end!”

Will we though? Stay tuned for more details.