You know what’s great about October?

No idea. No, I’m asking you what’s great about October. There’s very little to go on given the state of the weather and the fact that the heating seems to come on every five minutes.

Only kidding! Everyone knows that October is FUN FUN FUN because of Hallosween. Bring out your monsters! Bring out your chaps! It’s killing time for all. Sween!

Time for an unnecessarily themed edition of everyone’s favourite monthly phrase competition.

Before we start, let’s get a bunch of tired, boring pun-based phrases out of our system so we can let the “good” ones breathe properly:

• Bat’ll be the end of me
• Phrases? You don’t have a ghost of a chance of coming up with one
• I don’t know, erm, witches for breakfast?
• Fangs for the suggestions, owl take them on board

There. Much better.

Creepadelica (?):

• Bonearino cappuccino! – crack this one off shortly before doing something silly like skydiving or purchasing butter insurance
• Reel in that pumpkin, you’ve scored a blinder – agreeing with someone’s point so candidly you catch them off guard
• A black cat between the eyes is worth two up the Dundee – something your granny would say and you’d be too scared to ask what she actually meant
• Where where wolf beware, smell your children if you dare – childhood playground taunt that could work with the primary school crowds
• Leave me covered in slutty witches why don’t you – the disappointment in your tone will dispel any confusion as to what you’re on about

Now that we’ve all been suitably chilled to the bone, what are your efforts? Can you come up with anything better? I’d like to see you try.

No, I’d really like to see you try. We barely get any contributions these days.