As the Chris DNA continues to run amok in all parts of the modern 21st century, it was left to experts to predict just how bad it would be at the end or the year and what monstrosities we would have to face during the festive season.
Big money was riding on a couple of obvious options: Chris spliced into a mecha Santa, Chris spliced into one or all of Santa’s reindeers, some kind of I don’t know Raymond Briggs snowman Chris hybrid with bells on, and the ultimate horror of horrors, Mariah Chris-tified Carey belting, ‘All I want for Chris-mas is shoes’.
It was egg on all of our collective faces though when people in the street started to look and point at a familiar landmark in London which seemed to be undergoing a transformation. Behold!
Big Ben was no more. Big Chris with his big man work ethic had muscled in and now the capital city was doomed.
Ding dong, merrily on high. It’s only a matter of time before he captures what he needs and moves onto much more serious buildings like MI5, Scotland Yard, the British Museum, that Subway in York that almost didn’t serve me because I was pretty drunk, and anything owned by Noel Edmonds.
2026 will have to start with a shriek and a scream. Happy New Year, everyone.
2 comments on “Newsboost – New Year’s Chris”
This looks better than the super-imposed crap that was on the big wheel for this years fireworks so fair play to him. He can be the new speaking clock and kill two birds with one stone.
Would you be surprised if I said my plan all along had been to wreak vengeance on that Subway in York that didn’t serve Ian once? World domination is fine but it will be a side quest as I seek to avenge my friend.