Jump to menu
I didn’t think my name was unusual or difficult to spell.
I was wrong.
What’s wrong with that? Isn’t that how you’ve always spelled Crich?
No. It needs a capital letter. At least you got it right.
Are you sure they weren’t trying to spell ‘Grinch’? Did you swagger into the Starbucks with some top-notch toxic masculinity, spouting off about how terrible this time of year is whilst chewing on a raw steak?
I don’t remember doing that, but it was quite early in the morning, and you know what I’m like when I’m groggy. I get a bit snacky for raw meat.
Your morning meat-lust has got you into bother more than once before. Honestly, I wouldn’t even be surprised at this point.
That’s nothing. Yesterday I called in for a coffee on the way to work and I was feeling so alpha that I ate a whole bag of sugar all at once, right in front of them. They feared me, but I had also won their respect.
Scientists have tried to replicate the sound of jaws dropping so low that they hit the ground but are yet to have any success. I bet it was so loud they could have heard it in Westminster Abbey.
Your efforts are stupendous, sir.
Thank you. One or two of the swooning ladies present at the time commented on my stupendousness too, but I was exuding far too much testosterone for them to get close. In the end someone had to open a window.
Reading your comments makes me want to open a window too. Congratulations.
You’ve crossed counties with your toxic obnoxiousness.
Thank you. At the time of writing my alpha dominance extends to a radius covering most of Hampshire and the Isle of Wight. This is thanks to the combination of testosterone and obnoxiousness for which I am rightly famous.
I’m cheering you on from hundreds of miles away, mate.
It’s wise to keep a safe distance.
I’ll say. It’s not just your attitude that stinks #zingers
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.