Avatar Mid Thirties

A week or so ago, I turned 32.

This is an important moment. I’ve left behind the first couple and I am now officially in my thirties. I am in my thirties. When I was a teenager that phrase would have been more or less on a par with old age pensioner or incontinent geriatric.

Consequently, in my twenties, I made a serious mistake. I held on to my “early twenties” for far too long. 20, 21, 22 – nobody would argue that they are your early twenties. But I carried on thinking of myself as being in my early twenties at 23 and 24 too. That was fine at the time. I clung to my youth.

Then my 25th birthday arrived and with it came a terrible realisation. 25 had to be my mid twenties, there was no denying it. But if 20-24 had all been early twenties, then I had squeezed my mid twenties down to a year, and at 26 I was unwillingly hurled forwards into my late twenties. My late twenties. They were almost over with four years to go. Nightmare.

So with this decade of my life I am determined to get it right. Having turned 32, I am now officially declaring myself to have entered my mid thirties. By taking a hit now, and entering my mid thirties early, I can continue them much longer, and I don’t have to think of myself as reaching my late thirties until I’m 38, at which point I should be able to come to terms with the idea.

So here we are: 32, the beginning of my mid thirties, and an early sign that I might be learning from past mistakes. Sometimes.

15 comments on “Mid Thirties

  • So you take a hit now to soften the blow in some years time? I guess that makes sense. Right now my official press age is 26.

  • Well then look on the bright side; you’re dating someone in their mid 20’s.

  • Putting these two comments together, the logical conclusion appears to be that I’m dating Ian. I’m not sure those are the sort of apples I’d invest in.

  • If we’re dating you’re doing a terrible job of it. I haven’t seen you for over six months and when was the last time you bought me a Present? Also what have you done for me lately?

  • Used to be a time he would leave us little messages…

  • Look, buster, it shouldn’t just be me putting the effort in. Don’t think it’s escaped my notice that you’ve started seeing someone else.

  • How did you find out? I thought we’d managed to keep it really well hidden…

  • I send you little gifts all the time. And how does he repay me? Bitchy comments and passive aggressive behaviour.

    He only worked it out because of the lipstick marks I kept leaving on your shirts, Miss Wolfson.

  • Last words spoken by Queen Victoria. True story.

  • Mid-Thirties sounds horribly grown up doesn’t it. Like we should all be driving round in beige Volvos wearing sandals.

    Any whilst we’re on the subject of relationships, I’ve hardly heard from either of you since you started your respective affairs with the lady women.

  • Elena keeps me in a cupboard when she’s at work or out of the house. I didn’t realise it was in the small print until we were several dates in and I’d already signed all the paperwork.

  • I might keep you in a cupboard, but I do not take your phone. Not taking any responsibility for the fact that you choose not to contact Kev whilst stuck in the cupboard.

  • Any whilst is new to me.

    Anyway whilst you were busy raising the Changlet, I went out and bought a beige volvo and a lovely pair of sandals and…

    Oh, I’m doing mid thirties all wrong!

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