Avatar Progress report

Mr. Chang, the shady Chinese businessman financing Pouring Beans Productions’ new documentary film, has now seen a rough edit of “Railways with Smidge Manly” and discussed with me some changes that are still necessary.

Clearly the public are clamouring for the release of this important film, and any delay is going to be met with considerable impatience, so to help tide us over until it’s ready to go, here is a look inside the editing process. This is, in its entirety, the list of changes that I made, explaining Mr Chang’s instructions in full.

  • Wobbly –> red train pat etc. Vertically. + coming out of station at CP
  • –> –> –>
  • Platform-train tighter or clip inb. ? straight to speech on 2nd shot
  • Barry rustling – filter out?
  • Timetables – wind noise – change for station
  • Voiceover still not good (headphones)
  • Longer gap or music between good email and people we met.

I hope this sheds some light on the philosophical and ethical issues with which we are wrestling in trying to perfect our artistic vision.

23 comments on “Progress report

  • That Mr. Chang sounds like a bit of a bastard, to think of all the hard work You, Smidge and Myself put into this.

  • You never know when they might go off. Horizontal arrows are the most explosive and flammable of the arrow family.

  • I think that was referring to Mr Chang’s wish to have the entire archery scene removed. For some reason he thought it didn’t fit in to a documentary about railways.

  • Chang can’t change me so I won’t change Chang.

  • Or won’t change me. So the song says. Either way it’s mottos for Monday.

  • Are you singing Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changless by David Bowie? If so, I thought the lyric was “time won’t change me, but I can’t face Chang”. I could be wrong.

  • My time memory won’t go back that far, and I’m far too lazy to check back on the post.

    I think YOU are correct.

  • That archery scene took ages to film as well. Smidge kept missing the target and injuring wildlife.

  • “Right, in order to test how good a railway is you need to hold an archery tournament on them. I’ve got my archery kit here and I’m going to pin that vole against one of the trees over there. Right, here we go… right, I hit that deer by accident, here we go… right, that badger caught it between the eyes, let me try again…”

  • I… I was that badger…

    (dun dun duuuuuuun!)

  • I thought the end of the archery scene, where Smidge cradles a heap of dead woodland animals, was the most poignant part of the film and I’m not sure any of it makes sense without that climax. But we’ll have to live without it. As the saying goes, “Chang is as Chang does”.

  • Walk like a Chang, talk like a Chang, walk like a Chang my son!

    That’s also another saying that goes.

  • Shall I slow it down?

    Amble like a man, ramble like a man, amble like a man my son?

  • Chang walks too fast anyway with his gigantic legs of unfathomable proportions. We have to look to the common man, with his common, shorter legs, for a slower and more reasonable ditty.

  • Most of the time Chang isn’t even walking, he’s thrusting his way around, jabbing his loins forwards with every other lurching stride. It’s enough to turn your stomach.

  • Whatever Chang wants to do behind closed doors is not my concern. If he’s strutting around with his loins out, well, then I’ve got beef.

  • You’ve got beef? I love beef. Are you going to share it? We could slice it thinly and make delicious sandwiches.

  • What I have cannot be shared. What I am cannot be split. I’ve got hands but I can’t clap; what am I?

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