User avatarSteve Stevingtons is hittin’ the big

Last year, my flatmate Steve Stevingtons left his job.

“You’re crazy!”, I told him. “It’ll never work!”

Steve Stevingtons simply smiled to himself, an enigmatic look in his eye. My protests – delivered at full volume and more or less constantly whenever he was in earshot over the ensuing months – never seemed to sway him. “There’s no life out there!” I’d shout. “You’ll starve! You’ll waste away to nothing! You’ll end up on the streets!”

Steve would just shake his head, and go back to tending the little plants in his window box.

I was a fool, of course, but I didn’t know it back then. I should have guessed. Steve Stevingtons had a plan. Since that first day, and continuously soundtracked by my heckles and shouts from the other end of the flat, he’s crafted himself a business empire.

Now the whole world is chowing down on Steve’s Leaves. We’re all getting our fix of roughage and wholesome nutrients from Steve Stevingtons. His commercial dominance is starting to rival that of Big Frank. And believe me, I will never doubt him again.

6 comments to Steve Stevingtons is hittin’ the big

  • So Steve leaves and starts Steve’s Leaves?

    Does the front of the package actually say, “these babies are fresh”?!?

  • The front of the packet does say that. As you’ll know, having met him, that’s exactly the sort of thing he goes around saying all the time.

  • The first time I met him, which wasn’t that long ago, come to think of it, now that you mention it, now that it comes to me, thinking back to that time, under the terms and conditions, it was the first thing he said to me.

  • Back at my 30th birthday, where you don’t remember meeting him? Yes, well remembered. He said that to everyone present at one time or another. In fact I’m not sure he said anything else to anyone that night.

  • When I first met him, which I clearly can / cannot remember, that was all he said. I believed him to be some kind of robot who was obsessed with salad. Now it all makes sense; he’s a time-travelling robot *from* the future who is obsessed with salad.

  • I… don’t think that is evidence of him being a time travelling robot. Especially when you can’t even be sure you remember it at all.

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