User avatarWords I Hate, Part 1

Generally speaking, I like words. Many words are lovely, like “frisky” and “solitude” and “rescind”, and I would tuck them up in bed every night and kiss them tenderly on the forehead if I could.

There are other words that sound wrong. Awful-sounding words that leave a nasty taste in my mouth. Words I wish I could replace with something else so I never had to say them again. Words that come back to haunt me, time and time again, words I cannot escape from.

In this post, the first of an important new series, I will bang on at length about words I don’t like. There will be more later. Feel free to add your own.

Portion

This word is almost always used in reference to food, but it doesn’t sound like something I want contaminating my lunch.

You can’t say this without sounding like you’re a bit posher than you are. You can’t say this without it sounding like you could have said something more conversational, as if you’d just said “crestfallen” when you meant “sad”. Except there’s not much else you can say, there’s not a straightforward conversational equivalent. Serving? Helping? Load? They all have their place but there’s some situations where only portion is right.

That’s how it gets you. That’s how you can’t escape. At some point you’ll want a bit of food and the word portion will arrive, ugly and aloof and inevitable, and you’ll have to eat your food with the nasty taste it left behind. Ugh.

14 comments to Words I Hate, Part 1

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    To this day I don’t think I have any problems with this word, but that may be because I don’t use it very often. Whenever I do hear the word ‘portion’ though I immediately think of the previous PB post about ‘porktions’ and then we’re back to meat again.

  • Kevil

    Portion has never held anything position other than ambivalence in my word/emotion reference guide.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    Sometimes Kev you have to put down your book and get out of the library. If you want to be a true wordsmith / emotion lord you’ll need to delve into the field. Not in a dress.

  • Kevil

    But my field dress is what keeps me warm outside the library…

  • Get your field dress off, put your battle skirt on, and prepare for life as a daring Emotion Lord.

    Portion must die. Unsheath your wordslaying dagger.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    What about if you gave something you love, like I dunno, a piece of road or a knife you tend to use for cutting fruit but occasionally slice your hand open with, the name ‘portion’ and then you might be able to look past its limited appeal just as a word?

  • I don’t want to sully my possessions with such a dirty word. There is no looking past it. It must die.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    So basically what you’re trying to say is that you literally want the word to curl up and die and leave you alone completely? Is that essentially what you’re trying to say?

  • Essentially that’s totally what I’d ultimately like to say, effectively, yes.

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    … I do like the word ‘sully’.

    Pooh pooh, dear sir, you have changed my mind and thus I shall shun the word ‘portion’ at every available opportunity.

  • Pooh pooh, old fruit, then rejoice, for my work here is halfway done.

    Now, where’s Mr Chang? Is he ready to shun the portion too?

  • Kevil

    Only if I can keep my field dress?

  • Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver

    It seems like that right there is totally Romeo.

    You’ve managed to seal the deal without a wigwam; splendid pickles!

  • Keep your field dress and I’ll throw in your battle skirt for free as well.

    Gentlemen, we are done here! Away to a hostelry for sausages and broth.

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